Chapter 23:     Melly Tells All

MELLY writes--

Mel here.  My turn to slip some input into this story.  I want to
tell everything Art and Elaine didn't know about because Adam was 
too prudent to tell them.  Well, I didn't tell anyone either, 
because it was nobody's business but ours.

But now Addy's gone and I want to tell about him and me. Need to,
have to. I'm proud of my love for him and have absolutely no shame
about admitting that I was hot for his big hairy body.  Okay, I 
guess this might get kind of raunchy, some people I know might 
read it, could even be embarrassing later on, but I don't care.  I
won't censure this, otherwise I can't really tell anything about 
what we felt or what we did.  

Just a sec..."fuckshitpispussyprickass"...there, now I don't have 
to worry about keeping this story clean, because it's already too 
late.  Gives me some elbow room to work in.

Okay: I've adored Addy since the first time I saw him. I can still
remember first meeting him, even though we were only 3 at the 
time.  There's not much else I remember from that age, except that
image of HIM--big and fuzzy and smiling with beautiful eyes and 
my hand pressed over his thumping heart--it's like a scene from 
yesterday.  Art has written about it, so it's not just something I
imagined, it really happened: we fell in love then.  Or at least, 
I did.   

You already know how we grew up together, Big Twin Brother, blah 
blah blah.  Let's get to the good stuff.  

I guess that we've always had a somewhat erotic relationship, Addy
and I, even when we were little kids.  Kids do, you know--who 
hasn't played doctor, or wanted to anyway? Okay, we weren't having
sex or anything, but we were pretty relaxed about nudity and 
physical contact, casually interested in each other's bodies.  I 
always thought Addy's body was beautiful, which some people think 
is weird, I guess.   

We knew about sex.  Well, I sure did: since my folks were ultra 
liberated in their own sexuality--especially Dad--so they didn't 
mind so much if I saw them making love. Mom was a little more shy,
but Dad told her that kids in other cultures grow up seeing it, 
just part of nature.  He believed in abolishing prudery and 
inhibition...back then, anyway.  Boy, it sure worked with me: I 
thought sex looked like Wonderful Fun.

There was a period when Mom and Dad were practicing Tantric Yoga 
out in the woods along with Art and Elaine (hmmm, not sure if I'm
supposed to tell about that, well, screw it, this is my chapter).
Anyway, sometimes Addy and I would sneak out there and watch them.
Addy can move through the woods without a sound, I'd be on his 
back.  But they finally caught us peeking because we ended up
giggling.  Anyway, we knew all about what goes where.

I guess we were scandalously young when I first suggested to Addy
that we try it out, just for fun.  He wasn't ready, too pure to be
horny, I guess.  Okay, we were only 12.  Otherwise, well..I would 
have had him there and then.  Awful, I know--Addy's the Bigfoot, 
but I'm the monster.

My Dad began to get after me about just how horny I acted with 
Addy.  We'd be naked at the lake, for instance, and I'd just lay
down on Addy like he was my big air mattress, spread out all over
him and Dad would get totally pissed off about that.  He'd talk 
about "improper behavior", stuff like that, which was weird coming
from him. I mean, he used to be THE reigning champion of improper 

Actually, Dad started getting negative about Addy and me pretty 
early.  Thinking back on it, he might have been justified--I was 
totally in lust with this hairy squatch and could hardly wait to
deflower & marry him, in that order. And I mean ever since...well, 
since I met him at 3 years old.  I guess I was kinda obsessed with 
Addy, emotionally and sexually, and that scared Dad.  He finally 
blew up and told me that I could neither have sex with nor marry Addy, 
not even when I grew up, because blah blah blah. Okay, he was 
probably justified in a way, I'm sure I had a pretty unrealistic 
view of any future as the mate of a squatch.  

But Mom was never against Addy and me, she knew we had a special 
thing going.  She figured Addy I were cosmic mates.  She believed
that we were destined to be together for some reason yet unknown 
to us mortals.  So she always treated Addy as my boyfriend, as her
future son-in-law.  She kept Dad calm about Addy and me, convinced
him that everything was as it should be. But then she died in that
damned car crash and everything changed.

When Mom died, Dad crashed too and hard.  So did I, but Dad was 
useless, so I fell right into Addy's arms.  He held me and kissed
me and was a good caring Big Brother, really affectionate. He was
as wrecked about Mom as I was, had loved her as much as I had.

Up to then we HAD actually been like brother and sister, sorta 
you know, casual comfortable easy-going no-big-thing, taken-for-
granted stuff.  I mean even the eroticism was casual, friendly, we
loved each other but weren't IN LOVE.  We were best friends, liked
each other, were comfortable together.  

Well, I had taken my Mom for granted too and suddenly...she was
gone.  Makes you think about people you love.

I guess Addy and I started getting really horny with each other 
after Mom died.  It's hard to say just when, it was gradual, just 
a game at first, part of being naked at the lake.  We'd comment on
body parts, play grownup, tease one another.  No actual sex ever 
really happening, it was all words. But you know how Addy is about
words, he only says the true ones.

So one day we were sunbathing at the Lake, close to each other on
the dock.  There were other people there, but we were off to one 
side.  Addy said, "MmmmmMelly, you smell so strong--"

He moved closer, his nose suspiciously near my lap.

"Oh thanks a lot, Addy, you stink too."

"--no no, not a stink, a really NICE smell--mmmm, wow, the nicest 
smell I've ever smelled."

"So what's it like?  Fish, I suppose?"

"No, more like..." he closed his eyes " warm bread in the
morning when you're really hungry.  Warm" 

"Oh.  Probably just my pheromones," I said nonchalantly, showing
that I too had a big vocabulary, "you're just getting turned on by
my pussy juice." 

"I am NOT!  Jeez, Mel!"

"Relax, Addy, it's all right.  You can't help it, you're just an
ape in heat."

"Well, it smells like YOU'RE the one in heat." he said.

"Mmmm.  I DO feel so warm and tingly when you talk dirty.  Maybe I 
AM in heat!"  I pretended like I was kidding.

Anyway, that became our game: he was the shy, the prudish one, I 
was the daring aggressor. It wouldn't have been fun the other way.
And it WAS fun, I could do or say anything and it was perfectly 
safe.  Try that with some other guy.

We talked about someday having sex, but Addy was insecure about 
the subject, not quite sure if it was really all right for him to
be with a human girl (me) or not.  Dad had been after us about 
that, made Addy feel guilty for even being Male.  Addy was also 
especially worried that His Thing was going to be too big if he 
didn't stop growing, all that typical teen-age stuff.

Anyway, I told him, "Look, if you're REALLY desperate one day and
NO ONE ELSE will screw you, well then, I GUESS you can use me."  
I was only half joking.  

"Hey, that's really big of you, Mel."

"It's okay, I'm planning on having lots of lovers, you can be one
of them."

"Gee, I hope I don't ruin you for all the other guys, though."

"That's true, maybe I'd better only let you stick it half-way 
in..."  Stuff like that, we got pretty raunchy sometimes, but
like I said, it was all in fun.

Before Dad left for Indonesia, while he was drinking and getting messed up over Mom's death, I stayed mostly with Art and Elaine, and Addy and I ended up together even more. Also at night, our rooms were right next to each other. I always went in to him, we'd lie on his bed and talk a lot-- well, we always ended up touching, lying like spoons together, sometimes naked. It wasn't really supposed to be sexy, just comfortable coziness. But it was sexy, believe me. I was almost always the initiator, slipping into bed with Adam, who would be lying as naked as a hairy squatch can get, with the window open and no blankets. ME: Hi. Can I sleep with you tonight? HE: Sure, okay. ME: Hold me, I'm cold. HE: Uh...I think that's because you haven't anything on. ME: Of course not, I want to feel your fur. HE: You'll be feeling something else if you don't watch it. ME: That's okay, I don't mind. HE: Melly, we can't-- ME: I'm not here to screw you, Addy, just relax. I just want to lie with...oh, now I feel it, that something else you meant. HE: What are you doing? ME: Relax! Just putting it between my legs, not in me. HE: Jeez Mel, your Dad's gonna kill us. ME: Nobody can kill you, you're too big. HE: Really think we can sleep like this? ME: Who cares? It's where I want to be. Don't you? HE: Yeah, a little too much. You know, I think your dad's right: I might just lose control and rape you. ME: Promises, promises. silence ME: You ARE horny, poor thing...I'll bet I could make you come. HE: Jeez, Melly, we can't do this! ME: Sure we can. HE: We're too young. ME: You're hard, I'm wet, who's too young? HE: You're a virgin! ME: Oh and you're not? Besides, that's not supposed to be a permanent condition.... You get the picture. Lots of prick-teasing, sorry, couldn't help it. Poor Addy. But if he'd just once said "Mell, I want you, have to have you, please, please" that would have been it. Whatever he wanted, he could have had. Or maybe not, I don't know. I'm writing this now, while I'm older and more--ahem--sexually experienced, while I'm missing him and would do anything to have him back. Maybe I'm just working myself into a frenzy of virtual horniness. Maybe if I'd written this back when I was 13 I'd admit that I was a little bit frightened by the idea of actually doing it. I mean with any guy, squatch or not. Anyway, we were having this nice time together, gradually easing into what was obviously going to become a real live grown-up relationship. And then, just about when my Dad left for Indonesia, Addy changed character on me. He'd always been interested in our sex games. He was never aggressive, but he really did like me provoking him, he responded, got amazingly huge erections, grabbed my butt, giggled. Addy was a nice healthy horny boy. Suddenly no more sexy games. He said we couldn't do it anyway, so we'd better stop working ourselves up to a frenzy. At first I thought Adam was just Nobly Doing The Right Thing By Me, other times I thought he was scared (just like me), but all the time I knew that there was actually something gone wrong.
He still loved me, I guess--he said he did and he never lies--but there was no more messing around, not even for fun. Actually, there was no more fun, he became very serious. No, it was worse than that: he became very SAD. Sad, sorry, conflicted. And he wasn't very good at giving me a reason. Addy's painfully honest--he CAN'T lie, but he sure can clam up if he doesn't want to tell you something. I didn't get it: we were teen-agers by then, both horny. And he got hard-ons by then, believe me, so I know HE was horny. And me, I had just sprouted some pretty nice boobs and looked GREAT (if I do say so myself), I figured most guys would have just creamed to have a girl friend like me: blond, built, really cute, totally willing to try out some new and funny sex positions...but no, he wasn't having any, thank you. This wasn't taking place in a vacuum either, there were other guys interested in me at school, there were grown men trying to start conversations, I could tell that I was the kind of girl guys like. Actually, I've never felt insecure about that, I look a lot like Mom, the famous Sally Rathers, star of stage and screen and the famous Playboy spread, plastered on hundreds of Babe sites all over the Internet. I've inherited her babe-ness. Hey, I could pick and choose. Which I had done: Addy, I just loved him over anyone else on this planet. But that big hairy squatch--who probably couldn't get any OTHER girl anyway, since they'd all think he was too...whatever-- he only wanted to be my Big Brother. How could that be? We'd been almost lovers until my Dad left for Indonesian and then Addy changed just like that--slam! Which was kind of weird: just when we were free of Dad's negative attitude towards us, just when we could really play around, all the playing stopped. I was suspicious of that scene before Dad had left, when he'd flat out said he didn't want Addy and me to EVER be lovers, calling it "sodomy" and all that. Pretty uptight stuff for such a hip guy as Douglas Wielson. I've never really understood why he was so against Addy and me. No, I'm not being naive, I understand that many people have some pretty rigid views on sex between races, some of them would call it ABOMINATION that a white girl and a hairy ape-thing would be lovers. I know about Right-To-Lifers who murder abortionists, because they're so convinced that only their own moral views matter. There are moral monsters out there. But Dad wasn't one of those people. He wasn't a racist, or some religious fanatic, he was a notorious free-thinker. Why should HE, of all people, be against that special thing I had with Addy? Anyway, I thought that had to be what changed Addy. He's always respected Dad and if Doug Wielson was against US, Addy might have had to think about it for a while.
Finally, just before I left for Indonesia to join Dad over there, I offered Addy the works. I was still afraid, but I was also so horny I couldn't stand it anymore. I was direct too, think I said, "Oh, Addy, I demand a goodbye fuck," or something just as poetic. He said he couldn't. But I didn't want to go away without us ever having ever really made love, so I begged him. "I want to but I can't," he said and then started crying. At last I figured it out: he had a secret. There was a reason why he wouldn't "go all the way" with me. I knew he wasn't impotent, I'd seen his impressively big erection in full glory lots of times, it worked fine. He was hung up on something, but wouldn't say what. I got angry, upset, humiliated. It was okay that he wouldn't do it, but it was not okay that he wouldn't tell me WHY. We didn't even kiss goodbye at the airport. And when I came back, after 4 years of longing for him, it was the same. The secret something-wrong was still there, but I trampled it down--nothing was going to stop me from having Addy this time.

Chapter 24

Adam out of Eden