Transcribed from dictation, ADAM speaking--
I was telling you how bored I was with life at Dannat's camp.
Well, something finally happened.
About three nights before the full moon I caught a whiff of this
strong smell in the cave. It seemed familiar, but I didn't know
what it was, just that I really liked it. Made me feel good,
stronger and...uh, kind of horny. Reminded me of Melly, to tell
the truth. Then I remembered having also smelled it last full
moon. The shyøma was coming around again.
About that time the others sort of threw me out of the cave, made
me sleep outside alone. I didn't understand why yet, but noticed
that the women weren't sleeping too well, moaning and rustling all
The next day that smell was a lot stronger and it made me feel,
well, even hornier. When Mawa came out past me in the morning I
caught a real whiff. It was her and Malla too. It was their own
sex-musk, female squatch-pheromones kicking into high gear. Just
like my own, I guess, only WAY stronger.
I was still a pretty badly wounded boy, not in so much pain any
more but still weak and pretty much helpless, not to mention more
or less virgin. But that smell, their shyøma, got right down
into the middle of me. I was ready for some sex--any sex with any
woman, forget about whom in particular, forget about "making love",
this was about rutting and just plain animalistic mating. Of course,
it would probably have killed me just then if I had tried it, but
I didn't even care.
Uh, yeah--this is your shy little boy talking here, but I'll have
to report the anthropological facts as I observed them--because
there's no way I can tell this story and leave any of this stuff
out just for the sake of my own personal modesty. Besides, I've
had to give up modesty anyway.
Because all Nokhon women go into heat every full moon. Literally
in heat, just like cats or dogs--so those two women were even
hornier than I was. Mawa was giving me long needy, suffering looks
with her big dark eyes, leering at my crotch--actually, my erection.
And, believe me; she was looking pretty good to me herself. Then
Malla came out and she was the same way.
Man, I wanted them both, couldn't help it. But I also wanted to
stay out of trouble, since I didn't know what the ethics of the
situation were. Sure, I'd love to have gotten laid if I'd been
sure old Dannat wouldn't kill me. Or if I'd just been in better
shape, instead of having a half-healed bullet hole through my
But truthfully, I was intimidated: this was too much of too weird,
I wasn't emotionally ready for this at all. Hell, I didn't even
know what to DO with a girl. I mean, I knew, but had no confidence
in my own self that I could give these ladies what they needed,
especially since it was clear that they needed so much of it so
Fortunately, they went off to eke out an existence foraging food,
and so did I. In another direction. I had to get away from that
smell for a while.
By that evening, two nights before the full moon, the smell was so
orgasmic that I could hardly stand it. I really wanted to be with
a woman--any woman, squatch, human, I was easy. I fantasized about
Melly, three of four other girls I'd known in school, some of the
teachers, movie starlets, meter maids. Hell, I even fantasized
about you, Elaine--well, you're not my genetic mother anyway, you
know--just letting you know how raw and powerful this all was.
Back inside the cave I could clearly hear the two women BEGGING
Dannat to fix them up, I supposed. I didn't need to understand
all the words, the tone said it all. Finally he just hollered
"Skog!" and they lay down, whimpering and twitching all night.
I was twitching myself, hopefully waiting for one of those lovely
girls--didn't matter which--to come out and get me. But somehow
And the NEXT night! Aw jeez, I was ready to take on anything
slightly female, no problem about self-confidence now! And the
girls were SCREAMING "Yøramma-ha, yøramma-ha!" I don't think I
need to translate. But Dannat just shouted, "Skog, yr sho
bnaskob!" which amounts to "No and shuddup!" So they shut up.
Then it finally happened. One of the women came silently sneaking
out of the cave to where I lay--trembling--under the trees. She
kneeled beside me and there was no foreplay or nothin', she just
grabbed my hard-on...which went off like a rocket and toppled.
That was that. I recognized Malla by her curses as she went back
into the cave.
Minutes later I was ready for another chance, but it never came.
Instead everyone got up in the middle of the night, rousted me,
and we all started off on an expedition before the sun came up.
I was surprised, but ready for some adventure, I'd been trapped
there for well over a month. Although still healing I felt good
enough to go on a walking trip and any change of scene was
welcome by then.
(ed: 5 weeks after Adam shot,
Full Moon Tuesday, December 17.)
We walked all day until sundown, arriving at a small valley tucked
between some snow-capped mountains. It rained most of the way but
cleared up just at sunset. On the way there, the three of them
took advantage of the rain to wash their body hair clean of the
old piss and shit that covered up their natural smells and when
we came to a lake they jumped in to get themselves squeaky clean.
Hey, was I ready to take a bath too, but they wouldn't allow me to
do that. "Ø'skogome!", of course.
After that the female musk was much more distinct, much sweeter,
nicer--jeez, it was lovely. And I was just plain in love with
these two women, whoever they were. Their shyøma gave me all
sorts of energy as we walked on.
The trip was beautiful, through a dreamlike snowscape, clear blue
sky for a welcome change. I was just strong enough to push through
the snow without much trouble as long as it was flat.
I did begin to stagger on our way up a steep mountainside, almost
collapsed once, but kept going. The others looked back, I waved
that I was all right. I was more tired of being a weakling than I
was of physical effort.
We passed herds of deer up in the mountains. They weren't afraid
of us at all. We could pass right through the thickest gathering
of a herd and they acted as if we were just deer too. I remembered
how deer I'd met on my wanderings hadn't been shy of me either
when I wasn't wearing clothes, like a "natural" squatch. But when
I had my "White Man" clothes on the deer always ran away.
We all stopped to watch red and purple clouds fade into blue.
Dannat announced "Ra'ashara!" which means "beautiful" and his two
women said "Ra'kha," so I said "Ra'kha" too, which
means something like "right on!" Dannat actually laughed out loud
and gave me a gentle pat on the back, like we were friends and he
was human or something.
The effect of the girls' shyøma was still getting stronger and
part of me was calmly strolling along with these people, while
another part was going through rut fever. But when we finally went
down into a pretty little valley, we came out of the snow into a
grassy alpine meadow, the shyøma smell increased overwhelmingly.
The clean musk of many more females in heat, jeez! Then I saw the
other Nokhontli, many of them, waiting for us at the other end of
It was a gathering of the local mlønoli, which is not quite
"tribe"--the Nokhontli are not tribal--so it's more like "society"
or "community". They converge every Ma-mløt-klys, or "Night of
the Full Moon", for the festival/ceremony they call Kha-rat.
Maybe I should use English words here, but I'm more or less forced
to use Nokhontli because there are no exact translations. And of
course, I've never described any of this in English before.
Anyway, the Nokhontli have rituals, like most primitive societies,
which they perform every full moon. At the same time their women
are all peaking sexually, so there's a hell of a lot of energy
buzzing around, believe me. They also start the ball rolling by
passing out these little red mushrooms with white dots on the top
for everyone to eat. Yes indeed, they get stoned and have a
But they didn't give me any mushrooms that first time, because
they weren't sure if I was going to join their mlønoli or not.
This night was my introduction to sasquatch culture at its peak--
so to speak--and this was their first peek at me. A very important
I counted 26 squatches, 12 males and 14 females, all adults. They
were milling around when we arrived, bumping and brushing each
other, occasionally groping, there was shyøma and a hot sexual
frenzy in the air. But even so, nobody was actually doing it yet,
obviously waiting for a certain moment.
The shyøma almost knocked me out at first, but I got used to it,
and then was dragging it down with both nostrils, just like
everybody around me.
Wrestling seemed to be big with the men. They were constantly
attacking each other for short bouts of combat, ending with one or
the other getting thrown. But no one got mad, they just laughed
and were obviously kidding around. No one seemed to care about
winning a match. Mainly, they were all just waiting to get laid.
Mushrooms were passed around as it grew dark. I'd never tried
them before, but I've known people who were really into them. I
think they were Amanita Miscaria, supposed to be loaded with
Psilocybin. No one ate them yet, they just made sure everyone had
theirs ready for later.
It was a pretty disorienting feeling, me being there among "my own
people", the sasquatches. I'd found them at last, but they were
absolutely much more foreign to me than Mexicans had ever been. I
was constantly vacillating between excitement and disgust. They
seemed to be apelike animals one second, then just plain folks the
next. Naturally, they also saw me pretty much the same way.
The moon came up from behind the trees, which was what they'd been
waiting for. They all started chanting, real low, almost a silent
rumble, but with so much resonance that I felt my skin vibrate.
It sounded pretty cool, they were harmonizing three tones, but in
another scale than I'd ever played on any instrument.
A Sha-haka, shaman, came to the center of the circle that
had been formed...and I suddenly recognized him to be my buddy
So now Dagrolyt is the Master of Ceremonies, the wizard in the
center of the ring, who starts chanting in another cadence than
the rest of the crowd. A vocal oscillation happens, a wowing sound.
Everybody stands and starts this slow shuffle, kind of two-step dance
It gets going faster, they get excited, everybody brushing their
bodies up against everybody else. Except me, of course, I'm just
observing, a wide-eyed wallflower. Spontaneous shouts, shrieks,
howls. They're also chanting "Ma Ket" over and over, "The Great
Female", which is what they call the Moon.
Then they all squatted into one big circle and ate the mushrooms
together in an organized ceremony. Everyone but me and another
guy who seemed even younger than me, evidently neither he nor I
had been allowed into their club yet.
And then, well, in plain English: it was finally time to get their
rocks off. That last hour of chanting and bumping and dancing,
during which while the raw sex-smell was charging up everyone's
horniness levels, had gotten them EVEN MORE ready. Then the
Sha-haka, Dagrolyt, put up his hands and everything stopped dead
still. All I could hear was horny heavy breathing.
And then they went at it, all of them, sex-wise. Yeah well, except
for us two outcasts. Me, I jumped back. They weren't making love
out there, they were wild animals in rut. Everybody screwed everybody,
young or old made no difference, beautiful or ugly didn't matter,
as long as it was the opposite sex.
(Seems the Nokhontli aren't much into homosexuality, by the way,
because that female smell is the most important part of it for
them. At a Kha-rat at least.)
Like I said, I was standing back, but suddenly this girl comes up
to me, her eyes all wild and glassy, breathing hot. She grabs me,
hard enough to scare me--squatch women are STRONG and she wasn't
being especially gentle--she HAD to have me. And her shyøma just
filled my brain all up, so I was ready for her anyway, scared or
not. We crashed down onto the ground and I'm just about to have
my virgin status deleted at last--when suddenly I'm grabbed from
behind and lifted high up off the ground.
A funny feeling, I weigh over 500 pounds but was lifted like a
baby. Not many people can do that to me. So I looked and it was
big old Dannat. Guess what he said to the girl and me? Yep,
"Ø'skogome e'e!"--no no, forbidden. So it was back to the
sidelines for me, now more frustrated than ever.
The sex went on for maybe an hour, until everybody wore themselves
frazzled. Those magic mushrooms they'd eaten were also beginning
to kick in by then, so when they were finished everybody lay on
the ground and looked up at the moon, weakly muttering "Ma Ket"
over and over until gradually they each fell silent. The smell of
semen was as strong as the female scent by then.
After everybody had been totally quiet for a while, Dagrolyt stood
up and spoke to them. He told the community news: births, deaths,
initiations. I couldn't understand much of it then, but listened
anyway just to pick up more Nokhontli words. Actually, I can still
remember what he said and understand it in retrospect.
He introduced that other young Nokhon guy--Daseh was his name--
who hadn't participated in the orgy either because he was new in town
and had yet to be tested. I later learned that he was a teen-ager
and still had to pass his Enduring before he could be considered
Young Daseh had to stand in the center of the circle and answer
questions. Only the men asked and even though they had been
totally worn out, they perked right up again, because this was
something they take absolutely seriously. The young initiate was
nervous and stammered a few times, but mostly he seemed gung-ho
and enthusiastic, apparently also giving the right answers because
the men were nodding with satisfaction.
But then do you know what he had to do? He had to take on every
woman who challenged him, screw her good right there in front of
everyone. The object of which, I later learned, is that a woman
can never really know a man until she has known him in the
Biblical sense. That was the basis for their opinions of him,
anyway. He did have one advantage, being an initiate he had not
been allowed to burn himself out at the orgy or get blasted on the
mushrooms, so at least he was fresh. He managed to do up 11 women
before he was frazzled and every one of them checked to make sure
there was semen inside her, which they smeared on their hands and
showed to the crowd.
Everybody bobbed their heads--the squatch version of applause. I
was kind of impressed anyway, but being cherry myself, I had no
idea if that was a hard record to beat or not. I'll bet it would
be pretty good among you puny NokhSo folk, huh? But I got the
impression that for squatches it was okay but nothing especially
heroic--like he'd passed that part of the test with a C+. Although
he had been gung-ho with the girls too and they seemed to like his
I was sort of dreaming off about then, this whole thing was just
so bizarre that it wasn't real any more. Until they motioned for
ME to get out there in front of everyone. Jeez, I thought,
they're gonna want me to THAT too? I resisted, but many hands
started pulling and pushing and there I was, surrounded by a
circle of Bloodthirsty Bigfeet.
Dannat came out there with me, though, so I wasn't alone after
all. He was introducing me to the mlønoli, but he did so with
a stern tone in his voice. Translated from memory after I'd
learned the language, this is approximately what he said:
"People, we have a newcomer. His name is Dadameh, he was the son
of our sister Mayala, whom we lost a generation ago. But there is
a question of his ever being truly one of us, for he has been
contaminated by a lifetime with the NokhSoli. He was raised by
them and bears the taint of their way of life and their Skesk.
Perhaps we can forgive this and accept him, but first let me tell
you what he has been guilty of."
Of course I didn't get many of those words at the time, but I sure
got the impression that I was on trial for something. Especially
since Dannat sounded like he was ranting, which he was:
"We found him wrapped in false skins, products of our old enemy
Civilization! Were that the worst it would be bad enough, but he
also had around his waist a band of SKIN taken from some murdered
creature and desecrated with the symbols of evil Atlantis!"
He was talking about my Mexican belt, the one I got from the old
shoemaker in Oaxaca, with the wind-step Mitla designs. But all I
understood at that time was that there were cries of horror and
disgust from the congregation, about something I must have done. I
couldn't know that Nokhontli never kill except in self-defense,
and that wearing the leather of a cow was to them like proudly
displaying a Nazi lampshade with Auschwitz tattoos.
I was scared, of course, I didn't know then that the worst they
could do is send me away in disgrace. They were making some mighty
unfriendly sounding comments. Dannat shushed them with a gesture,
and went on with his accusations:
"And there were baskets upon his wrappings, inside of which he had
many Skesk-things, of metal and other strange artificial elements.
He was evidently addicted to Skesk, since he had to have it with
him at all times." He was talking about my pockets, of course,
containing coins, pocket knife, my cell phone; all artifacts and
therefore forbidden Skesk-things.
Once again there was grumbling from the peanut gallery, I was
evidently in even more trouble now. Then Dannat changed his tone,
to a more relaxed and tolerant manner:
"But let us not be hasty in our judgment. The boy was raised by
the NokhSoli, an innocent child in a guilty world, but that was
not his fault. Perhaps he can be saved by proper instruction and
spiritual guidance in the Atli. Perhaps not. He may be so
poisoned by the NokhSoli Skesk that he cannot live without it.
But then again, his spirit may have been yearning all the while to
escape from that sick society of madness and doom, seeking a fresh
start here among his own people. We know that he has been seeking
us for many seasons.
"He failed to find us because it was forbidden to contact him
then, but now the Elders say it is time to see what he is made of.
"I have been cautious. I have not allowed him to learn more than
a few words of The Language, nor to mingle with any unauthorized
persons. It is not too late to send him back to the world he came
from. Although I would regret sending any Nokhon son back to that
Dannat looked over at me, but not sternly now. Maybe even with a
little tiny bit of affection.
"He may be worth saving. I cannot say. He has some good in him,
he has some bad. It will be for others to decide. I am a healer,
he was wounded and I healed him, now I am quit. Another must
sponsor him now, if anyone will."
Dannat quit talking, turned away and walked out of the circle. I
started to follow him, but he held up one huge hand to mean Stop,
said "Sba trob," wait here and he left me there.
So there I was, all alone in the crowd. They were looking at me
and muttering, I was looking back and worrying. I wondered if I
was going to have to fight my way out of there and I wasn't the
biggest kid on the block any more. It was pretty scary.