Transcribed from dictation, ADAM speaking--
I was happy that I'd made it through my first initiation and to
tell the truth, glad to not be a virgin any more. I was also a
bit dreamy about that first girl I'd been with, the pretty one
with the nice body. She'd been busy the last time I saw her, so I
never got around to her again that night. But I figured, "never
mind, don't go falling in love with some squatch girl who screws
everybody", so I jumped into that nice warm pile of women and
screwed them all until I fell asleep.
But it was her who woke me up in the morning and we went away from
the crowd and did it face to face for hours, just the two of us.
This was totally different than the night before, this was personal,
this was real, more like making love than all that obsessive animal
sex the night before.
Actually, we were both pretty obsessive about this too and we kept
it up until we had nothing left to squirt or ooze. And then we
finally talked and talked, like it was our first date. Her name was
Uh...I guess Melly will be hearing this recording eventually, so I
need to say something directly to her, but not here. There’ll be
a seperate and private recording only for her, ok?
Anyway, back to the story. Magga was new to this Mlønoli, I
hadn't seen her at my first Kha-rat. Nokhon girls are supposed to
chose a man to serve within 10 moons after becoming sexually mature.
If that man accepts her, she lives with him. If she doesn't choose
a man in her own community, then she's got to move to another
community every 5 moons until she settles on someone. If she never
chooses a man, she has to keep on moving. Most girls want to stay
close to home, so they chose a man right away, but Magga had not.
There was no man she wanted to serve, a very independent lady.
She was interested in me because of my history. She was quite
curious about the NokhSo world and wondered what it was like. Then
she said what I've never heard any other Nokhon say--male or female:
"I wish I could go live there instead of here." This was the local
equivalent of "I gotta get outta this place!"
At that time she was living on that hilltop with Mastinta, learning
to be a Sha-haka-ma herself. That was the only way out of the
traditional woman's role of either having serve a man or living as a
nomad. It wasn't that she didn't like men--she certainly liked sex
with them and to have a male friend like me--she just wouldn't be a
slave to one of them.
Well, I liked her--okay, I've already admitted that I was definitely
infatuated--whatever it is when you can't imagine someone more perfect
for you than this one. So I said, kind of shy kidding-like, "You
could always choose to serve ME. I wouldn't make you do anything
you don't want to do."
She just laughed at that and said, "That's what all you guys say."
But then she admitted, "But you really ARE different, of course,
being half NokhSo. And you do seem to be a nice boy. Who knows,
maybe I'll consider it someday, after we get to know each other
She showed me where she lived, along with Mastinta and six other
young women studying the ways of Sha-haka-ma. Talk about hardship,
they lived outdoors under the trees, no other shelter of any kind.
And in the snow at that time. Mastinta was teaching them to be
one with nature, herbal science, midwifery, how to become Earth
None of those girls were promised to any man yet, so they were very
popular. This was not a convent, men could come visit the girls,
even have sex with them. But the sex drive of most Nokhon men is
almost nil during the rest of the month. Strange but true, most of
them could care less about yøramma when they don't smell any
shyøma. So usually when guys do show up they're mostly interested
in finding a useable hard-working servant. Getting totally laid is
guaranteed at least once a month, so nobody's using that as a
criterion for selecting a mate. Although, just like everywhere else,
for a man to win a woman there has to be something she likes about
him; looks, ability, social standing, something.
I admit it, Nokhon society is sexist and women are repressed. It's
more macho than anything Latin America's got to offer. The Man is
King there. They don't even have marriage, the man is Master, woman
servant. The women do all the food-gathering chores while the men
work on their karma by studying the Atli.
Everybody's working on becoming a spiritual master, by the way, even
the women. You don't have to be a Sha-haka to be a spiritual master,
but it's the only way to prestige and power for either men or women.
And yet, it's not as bad as it sounds. A lot of these women are
HAPPY. The women are slaves, except that THEY chose their master--
usually whoever they like--and they can un-choose them. The men don't
get that choice. There are also all sorts of rules which determine
whatever a man can and can't make a woman do. If a man is cruel to
his woman, that'll be mentioned in the next Kha-rat and he'll have to
account for it right then and there, in front of everyone he knows.
He might be exiled from the Kha-rat, or he could be exonerated,
depending on the situation.
Hmm, I seem to have gotten into an anthropological treatise on
Feminism Among the Nokhontli. Not that I'm an expert. But it does
reveal so much about their society.
Except for being big and hairy, the main physical and emotional
difference between Nokhon and NokhSo females is that squatch women
go into heat and emanate that shyøma every Full Moon and
only then. I can't think of any other human or primate race that
operates this way. And that affects their society on every level.
Sex is totally indiscriminate, as you've learned by now, everyone
is welcome to do it with anyone. But that pretty much only goes
on at the Kha-rat and has almost nothing to do with real family
life. Also very little to do with love or romance. Or even
Every child conceived has been pre-determined by a committee of
Elders and there seems to be some witchcraft involved in the
actual conception process. Without that magic, the women are
effectively sterile-- they simply CAN'T get pregnant. Talk about
birth control. The Atli also forbids any couple from having more
than one offspring, so a woman with two babies always has different
fathers (their concept of fatherhood being a selected GROUP of
males providing a genetic mix). Anyway, there aren't a lot of
Nokhontli children born, so they're controlling the gene pool.
This witchcraft I mention is the work of Sha-haka-mali, women like
Mastinta and which Magga was training to become. They're the only
women of rank. They practice the same herbal sciences as the male
Sha-haka, but more specialized in women's bodies: pregnancy, birth,
etc. A Sha-haka-ma does the magic necessary for women to become
pregnant at all. I have no idea what that magic is, but without it,
all those ladies can do it with everyone at the local Kha-rat and not
worry about unwanted pregnancies.
So with no risk of pregnancy, no sexually transmitted diseases and
no sexual ownership, everyone is totally promiscuous at the Kha-rat.
They get loose and have a real good time. But for the rest of the
month there's not much happening since they generally have almost
no sex drive without shyøma to power it.
I say generally because I know Dagrolyt was getting it pretty often,
and...well, I know that I myself can get horny anytime. So I think
it's cultural. I grew up in a society where visual appeal was the
normal sexual stimulant, rather than smell, so I get it both ways.
And in Dagrolyt's case, he loves his two women and that makes a big
difference too. Women live with and serve men who are usually not
the fathers of their children, so family life is different there and
so is love life. The Atli teaches them that the idealized love is
spiritual, a general love of A'at, or "Life Itself", rather than
any one particular person.
And here I go, getting the hots for one of them.
Magga said she'd be glad to see me next moon, at the next Kha-rat.
But I wanted to have her to myself for a while and a month seemed
too long to wait.
"What if I come by sooner, in a couple of weeks maybe. We could
yøramma some more all by ourselves."
She looked surprised. "Oh, I'd like that, but I wouldn't smell of
shyøma in the middle of the month, silly, so we couldn't really
"I don't need shyøma to feel desire for you. And I'd love to
do it in the middle of the month with you. And every day, any night
"Such a talker, but I don't believe you."
"I was raised differently, you know that."
"That's true. Do the NokhSo people do it every day?"
"Sure, if they're in love."
"Did you do it every day with Nokhso girls?"
"Uh...no, you were my first Yøramma-Make."
"Oh, now I really don't believe you! You're so full of Pø!"
But she said it with a laugh.
"I never lie," I challenged her.
She looked at me with nice eyes. "I know. I hear that you may be
"Is that good for you?"
"Oh yes, I like that. Maybe you will become famous someday, like
the Great Dambaraggan himself, who knows? Now see if you can do
what else I like at least one more time."
Dagrolyt was waiting for me when I left Magga. Many from the
congregation were starting to leave, since nobody could screw any
more, but there was still some wrestling going on.
"Hey, you're not too late," Dagrolyt said.
O shit, I said to myself, I'd forgotten all about the great wrestling
threat. And there were some big burly chaps who were sort of looking
forward to having a bit of a go at the new guy in the mlønoli--me.
It wasn't as bad as I'd feared. Actually, it was all in fun and
no one really expected me to be a whiz at Nokhon-style wrestling,
they all knew I'd had a misspent childhood. So it ended up that
they threw me, gave me some tips on how to wrestle and I nodded
and thanked them for the advice. Ah, but--here some the surprise:
I actually threw one of them! A young guy too, surprised myself.
Of course, then he threw me several times after that, but at least
I showed that it COULD happen.
So when Dagrolyt and the girls and I headed home, I was pretty
satisfied with that Kha-rat: I'd passed all the challenges thrown
my way, ended my curse of virginity, met a new girl friend and been
accepted into the society of my own race. Not bad.
Actually, I should feel kind of funny about telling you my sexual
adventures and personal feelings. This isn't being the scientific
anthropological document I had in mind. But the story is telling
itself and I don't want to stop the flow. It's haka and I need
all I can get. We can always edit in the transcription process later
on, right Art?
What I'm really narrating to you here is my experience among an
unknown alien culture and my all-too human feelings are part of
that experience. Mostly I felt like some White Man Explorer in a
monkey-suit, disguised to pass as one of the native anthropoids,
so that I could blend in and study them. So the sexy stuff here
is like those old National Geographic magazines with pictures of
bare-breasted women doing tribal dances--it was okay to show them
because it was serious science, right? Well, this story is too.
Any good anthropologist should note his experience of being split by
the two cultures and by far the most intense dichotomy for me was
concerning my love life.
After a life of sexual frustration over human girls--and one (or
maybe two) in particular--I finally found myself among the women of
my own race. But the only thing really desirable about squatch girls
seemed to be a smell every Full Moon and that only for a few days.
In contrast, Melly smells good ALL the time and jeez I love the way
she LOOKS--so that is how I want to feel about a girl.
My only hope was that somewhere out there was a nice squatch "Melly"
for me. But when I saw the squatch women...well, I could have them,
but I didn't really WANT any of them. Not the way I've wanted Melly.
Not until I met Magga.
Maybe you thought I'd forgotten all about Melly in my passion for
a new girl friend. But really, that passion reminded me of her so
much that I found myself constantly thinking of Melly after that.
I'd almost suppressed the memory of her, but then she was back in
my head and I was wanting her all over again...her AND Magga.
Is that a contradiction? Falling in love with one girl rekindles
the love I felt for another? Probably normal, just the way the
mind--or heart--works. I had a friend who was good at scoring
women and he said: "The more you get, the more you want."
I'd been frustrated for years--it's no secret about Melly and me
having a problem, our love has always been SO passionate and so...
impossible. Hurt like hell. So sure, it was great to dump all
that frustration in some wild animal sex-orgy doing the Dum-Dum
with the jungle folk. But that sure wasn't love, a momentary thrill
but emotionally neutral, at best.
Thing is, I automatically respond to these girls as both human and
squatch. For example, Nokhons don't kiss. I assumed they did because
I'd seen them rubbing faces together when they greeted old friends.
But Magga was quite surprised when I kissed her--which I just had to!
She didn't mind, but had to ask just what I was doing. Squatches
show affection and intimacy by sniffing faces, they touch cheeks,
rub noses. Which is nice too and quite intimate because we smell
emotions revealed in the other's scent.
Thinking back, I'd always enjoyed sniffing Melly's face back when we
were teen-agers necking. That was quite intimate for me--everyone
knows how I can smell if people are lying or afraid, but really, I
can smell ANY emotion. I just haven't told anyone that because it
might embarrass them.
Anyway, about feelings, I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm not
going to let myself feel guilty about being unfaithful to Melly.
We could never be real lovers anyway...and besides, she's already
beaten me to it. (No offense, Mell.)
Later, on our trip back to the meadow, I asked Dagrolyt what that
man Dazlask had done to be outcast.
"He made fire."
"He was kicked out of the Kha-rat for five moons just for making a
"No, his first time was one moon. When he did it again, it was
two. Now it's up to five."
"The elders really don't want people messing with fire?"
"The elders don't want anyone breaking the Atli. That's what Dazlask
does and does it openly."
"Well, you do too, don't you?"
"Oh, yeah, a little. But not openly. Not as a challenge to the
elders. And besides, I have the privilege of Sha-haka, Dazlask has
not earned those privileges. He's a trouble-maker."
"Looked like he might get nasty."
"A bad man to wrestle with. He likes to hurt his opponent."
"If I was caught with a fire, what would the elders do to me?"
"Hard to say. You're a special case."
"Would they exile me from the Kha-rats?"
"That's the usual punishment."
"I guess it doesn't seem that severe."
Dagrolyt looked at me like I didn't know shit. "Khask! To a
Nokhon it is the kiss of death. We are social creatures only once a
month and we don't do well without each other then. The most
important thing to a Nokhon is the Kha-rat."
"Hooked on it, eh?"
"Admitted, it's the opiate of the masses. It's the way that the
elders control us all: they allow the Kha-rat to those who obey
Atli and deny it to those who disobey. And without Atli we might
choose to live like NokhSoli, with fire and farming and machines
to do the work for us, instead of as noble wild men waiting for the
fall of civilization."
Oh, groan...I've got to take a break. Play guitar, see TV, do
something besides talk into a recorder, my voice is getting
It's almost midnight. Only five hours until dawn, I can get some
sleep then. I don't dare sleep until then with that thing maybe out
there, although I haven't heard a peep from it yet...
Hmmm...blabbering again, telling more than I want to...
Okay. There's a subject I've been avoiding because I figured it
would just scare you. Truth is, I didn't want to admit how scared
I've been myself.
There's something after me and it comes at night.
It's dark now. It could be waiting out there even as I speak. I'm
not eager to go out there and face it, but I have to, if not tonight,
then tomorrow...I can't be here when you folks come home. It's that
So maybe you'd better know about the Ssysk after all, just in
But I need to take that break first. I'm going to practice guitar for
a while. (the sound of Adam's guitar being strummed) I don't think
any of us want me to record that. Later.