Chapter 85:     Our Babes in Hollyweird


from mellywielson
wed aug 6

Hi!  We made it in one--well, two--pieces: Liss and me.  It was comical how hard 
it was raining when we left Seattle and how HOT it is here in LA, sure lets you 
know you're somewhere else.

An agent from Songmonger Records picked us up at LAX and delivered us to the 
Rajah Hotel, downtown Hollywood.  I can't believe they sprang for a penthouse 
suite this luxurious, it's just crazy!  Liss is down at the pool right now, 
probably flirting with some movie stars, so I'll go join her in a bit.  Maybe 
help her flirt.

But we hardly even need to flirt; our social calendar is already filled up. We're 
going to a dinner party this evening with those two executives we met at Si's last 
month (I'm assuming it's only business, they weren't our types).  Tomorrow we're 
supposed to go to Cosmic Meaning Studios; they want to talk with us about a movie!  
And of course, there's The Evening Show Friday.  In fact we're going to have to 
fight for a little time on our own for the next week. We want to see Disneyland, 
at least and maybe Universal Studios.

I was resisting going on this trip, but now I'm glad Dad talked me into it.  So 
is Liss.  I think we're going to have fun.

Love You All,
Melly (& Liss)    

from mellywielson to thurs aug 7 I talked with my Dad on the phone this morning. I guess you guys have already heard about someone breaking into his house last night. Well, if not: he said some guy (?) was waiting for him in the dark and--he thinks--MAY have tried to SHOOT at him when he came in the door. He heard a double click anyway--and then got the hell out of there and called the police! But all that got robbed was his refrigerator, so it must have just been a hungry bum. Brrr, creepy! Anyway, we ended up at a really decadent Hollywood party last night, which was both fun and weird. I think of Liss and me as nice girls, but we got propositioned for three different porno movies by two different very sleazy guys and one very interesting lady. Although she was most interested in getting Addy to perform. We also got hit on by way too many handsome guys to believe. At first I got all excited about maybe even getting laid at last, take your pick. But of course, we ended up alone in our hotel room. Well, except for each other. Art & Elaine, I hope I'm not upsetting you by suggesting that I'm out to be unfaithful to Addy. I doubt that I can even do that, but need to feel I have the option. Also because I know he is NOT being faithful to me out there in Squatchland. I mean, how could he? Violation of squatch culture, blah, blah. So I don't know WHAT our relationship is right now; I think I was pretty badly traumatized about what happened between us that night. So I love him in the daylight and hate him in the dark: it's pretty weird. I totally miss him half the time and dread ever seeing him again the other half. I guess it'll resolve itself someday. Sigh, mope But I was going on about what fun we're having in Hollyweird: we went to Cosmic Meaning Studios today, where we met with a group of young independent indie filmmakers who want to do a movie of Addy's life story. Liss and I tried to tell them that Addy is only 21 years old, it might be too early for that. Besides, we'd need Addy to be in on it and couldn't just promise that he'd be interested. lya, m&l
from mellywielson to fri aug 8 Yes, this is the big day; we're going on TV tonight! Nervous, who US? Wish us luck. Any word on Dad's refrigerator-robber? lya, m&l
THE EVENING SHOW from Los Angeles Friday August 8, 7:00 PM. Host, PAUL FARRAN. FARRAN: All right, our first guests this evening are two lovely girls from a small town in the Great Pacific Northwest. Monroe, Washington, famous for having been the Home of the Baby Bigfoot. Well, that Baby has grown up into a strapping BIG rock star, known all over the world as Adam Leroy Forest, and these girls are in his band, known as Squatch & Friends, which has literally become an overnight sensation. Please welcome: Lissandra Cunnings and Melly Wielson! (LISS and MELLY come out on stage, wearing contrasting dresses showing lots of leg and bare arms, some bosom although rather demure by Hollywood standards. Applause and a roar of approval from males in the audience. They shake hands with FARRAN and sit on the sofa, looking perfect.) FARRAN: Wow, you two look great! LISS: Man, we should after that make-up session they put us through. MELLY: But thanks anyway, for making us look good. And thank you for inviting us to your show. FARRAN: Well, we invited you because you two are so HOT right now--since you've just had a phenomenal success with your new Live In Concert album... MELLY: It's actually Adam's album. He wrote the songs, did a fantastic performance, we just sorta helped. FARRAN: Yes and we would have preferred to have had him here too, actually the whole band, your drummer as well. But since Adam has mysteriously vanished --reportedly into Squatchland, itself a pretty fascinating concept --you two become even more interesting by default. And even more so because you have both thrown yourselves into some kind of secret project, funded by potential revenue from the album. It seems that you two are not just some bimbo back-up singers, but players on another level. What's going on, girls? LISS: Hey, who's not a bimbo? MELLY: I'm afraid the secret project will have to remain secret for the moment, at least until Adam comes back. FARRAN: So when is that? MELLY: Nobody knows, probably not even Adam, but we're hoping within a month...or so. Can't promise anything. LISS: Yeah, we sort of need him to go much farther. But that's exactly why we could finally take a break and come to LA. FARRAN: All right, but it's nice that you did come to LA. We've got a video clip from the concert in Seattle that became the surprise album of the year, in case there's anyone left who doesn't know about it. (VIDEO: Full view of Band playing "I Like To Run", close ups of ADAM singing, MELLY at the keyboard, LISSANDRA dancing around her bass, POKEY going with the rhythmic flow. Then an overview of the audience, people excited, dancing, kissing, clothes falling off. VIDEO ends, TV AUDIENCE applauds.) FARRAN: Your concert seems to have had a erotic effect upon your audience. From what I've seen on Internet, people of all ages were getting very excited and..uh..affectionate. MELLY: Yes, they did and so did we, it was magical. But even so, with all that wild emotion, there was no violence. Nobody got hurt. LISS: And then you shoulda seen the backstage party. FARRAN: Yes, I think the tabloids were calling it Scandalous! LISS: That's their favorite word, they can't get enough scandals. FARRAN: Lissandra, there was some rumor about you and Scott Richter, the lead singer from Chrome Pie... LISS: Wow, a rumor? Now that does sound pretty scandalous when you put it that way. You want the lurid details, right here on nation-wide TV? FARRAN: (nods, leers) You heard it first here, folks. LISS: Well, like you said, it was all SO erotic, everybody was turned on in one way or another, so Scott invited me to his room-- along with 10 other people. But since he and I were getting along real nicely, he took me aside and pulled out his bright red... can I really say this on live TV? FARRAN: Uh, I don't know. Go ahead, we can just bleep it. LISS: Yeah, bleep the bleeping thing. He pulled out his bright red I-Pad and showed me photos of his wife and kids on vacation at Yosemite. Cute kids. FARRAN: So nothing really happened? LISS: Oh, a LOT happened. Just not to me. So to Scott's wife--hi, Shirley! you don't know me but I've seen lots of pictures of you and the kids--let me say that all that rumor crap is untrue, you have a really loving and faithful husband. (applause, the audience likes that) FARRAN: And what about you, Melly? MELLY: Me? Oh, I hope there are some good rumors about me! FARRAN: There were a few witness who reported you being, er, inappropriately affectionate with Adam, considering that he's a Bigfoot. MELLY: (she rocks, as if slapped in the face, scowls and opens her mouth to blast FARRAN on the spot) Inappropriately? LISS: Oh-oh, you just screwed up, guy. Play it cool, Mel. (FARRAN appears to be satisfied with the reaction he is getting) MELLY: (looks to LISS, nods, very calm) Oh, Adam and I have always been affectionate. We love each other, everyone knows that, all totally appropriate. FARRAN: But you've always defined it as a brother-sister relationship. MELLY: Have we? Actually, I don't think our relationship has a final definition yet. Anything is possible. FARRAN: Anything? Even...being lovers? MELLY: You know, that question has been popping up since Adam and I were in High School together. We look like such a cute couple, we must be one. But I never answer it. FARRAN: Why not? MELLY: Because if I say NO, it's like saying I'd never be lovers with Addy because he's a Bigfoot. Addy is very human and I do love him, far too much to insult him like that. If I say Yes, which might be entertaining for some of those free-thinking people out there in national television land, I'd also be announcing it to some violent crazies and racists who would consider it their right and duty to come and hurt me--and Adam--for what they might call sodomy. I've met them. FARRAN: Is that why Adam was shot last year? LISS: Oh, that was a tricky question. MELLY: Remember how innocent little Britney Spears was so young and foolish as to admit that she was still a virgin at 16? From then on the paparazzi hounded her; "Hey Britney, still a virgin? If not, who did you screw and when?" Her private life was public property and the whole world saw how it screwed her up. But she did it to herself by answering that first stupid question. FARRAN: Melly, you have a long history of minor conflicts with the tabloids and their paparazzi . MELLY: Oh yeah, since before I was born. They published some nude pictures of my mom sunbathing while she was pregnant with me. They've been after me ever since. FARRAN: Oh that's right. Your mother, the movie star Sally Rathers--who died so tragically--was also a popular paparazzi target. She never did live down the Playboy pinup image. MELLY: She had no intention of living it down, it was a smart career move. LISS: Let's not forget her pretty-much nude scenes in a couple of movies, if we really want to dwell on skin. MELLY: Oh yeah, including Golden Angel, the movie she got an Oscar for. LISS: Now that IS scandalous! FARRAN: Yes, well. It seems there are now more nude pictures of you on Internet than your mother. And now Lissandra as well. Are you girls really naked all the time? LISS: Hey, we're not naked now. (to audience) Or should we take our clothes off? (roar of excited males) FARRAN: Uh, that might not be prudent. MELLY: Oh, we hardly need to bother anyway, anyone who really wants to see us naked can just Google up hundreds of grainy photos secretly taken from some very sneaky hiding places in the woods. LISS: Yeah, there's a couple of guys who have found out where our favorite nude beach is, so they hide up in the trees with telephoto lenses and wait for us to show up. We've asked them to leave, everyone else on the beach is pretty tired of them too, but it's all about money for them so they keep coming back. FARRAN: So why don't you just stay away from that beach? MELLY: It's our favorite place! Besides, who cares? If we were afraid of people looking at our bodies we wouldn't go to nude beaches in the first place. LISS: And besides again, we figure they'll get glut the market eventually and go away. I mean, how many long-distant shots of the same two girls lying on towels can you sell? Pretty boring most of them. MELLY: I could understand it if we were actually posing for them, you know, intimate close-ups. Playboy foldout, like my mom did. LISS: Yeah, us being deliberately sexy. That might even sell. FARRAN: And yet I've read that you've both been offered many opportunities to do just that by various men's magazines, but have rejected them all. Why is that? MELLY: Because it never was our intention to become sex-symbols--like that bimbo-image to which you referred at first--we have other plans and might need to be taken seriously. LISS: Besides, we're sexy without even trying. Right, boys? (affirmation from audience) FARRAN: But you are two extremely beautiful girls new to the music scene and a sexy image has always been a great advantage in any branch of the entertainment industry. Since you both seem to have no moral qualms about nudity... MELLY: (interrupting him, addressing audience) Has anyone else here noticed how our Gracious Host has been asking us about sex and nothing but? If we're having any and with whom? Has Liss committed adultery? Am I shagging a Bigfoot? Was my mother ashamed of having once been a pin-up girl? And just how naked do we really get at a nude beach? (addressing FARRAN) I have no moral qualms about nudity, why should I? it's not an immoral act to be undressed. My "qualms" are about the perverted perceptions some people have of it. For example: pictures never go away on the Internet. You can still find those taken when I was 12 years old, the year my Mom died. The tabloids tried to make up a child-abuse story about how my Mom and Dad allowed me to be naked around Adam: an innocent little white girl and a Big Hairy Bigfoot on the same nude beach-- along with all sorts of other equally naked fellow Americans--scandalous! But the tabloid got busted instead for publishing "indecent pictures" of a minor. Actually, those pictures weren't indecent at all, bare-assed kids on a beach, so what? But some people just have to see things that way. FARRAN: Yes, well.. LISS: Anyway, that's all old scandals, we've been made aware of some newer, bigger and better rumors about us. I like the one about all of us in the band constantly having group sex. (she waves to the camera) Hi Pokey, yes, we still love you! MELLY: Yeah, Poke, wish you were here! (tossing kisses at camera) LISS: Yeah, Pokey, poke poke poke...hey, I just figured out how come that rumor got started! FARRAN: We're going to take a break now, our sponsor wants to say something of great interest to you out there. Next up: Charley Steen!
from mellywielson to sun aug 9 Last night (Saturday) was six kinds of Hollyweird for us. Liss and I got invited to a party at the Playboy Mansion, since "Hef" had seen us on THE EVENING SHOW the night before and had been reminded that my mom had once been an all-time favorite Playmate (just a brief 23 years ago!). I tried to ask Liss if we really wished to subject ourselves to an evening of decadence and depravity, but she told me in no uncertain terms that she would totally have to KILL me if I turned down that invitation. So there we were, surrounded by movie stars and famous artists and authors and so many amazingly beautiful women that we both felt almost plain. Okay, not really; we had decided to go for it and had spent the day shopping for clothes so that we could hold our own and we were just about as sexy as anyone there. Got lots of confirmations of that. But of course, once we got there no one was interested in our clothes at all; we were constantly being invited to hop naked into the Cave Room Pool along with all the other nude Bunnies and Playmates. We were both tempted; it could be fun to go for a swim and turn on all those famous men with our sexy young bodies. Forget the Bunnies, Monroe chicks rule! But an army of photographers was on standby, paparazzi stalking the halls, it was a non-stop set-up for status-seekers and publicity-hounds. If either of us had a teensiest accidental nipple-slip it would show up all over the world later that evening and definitely in Playboy magazine next month. Normally, neither Liss nor I really care about that stuff: if guys just MUST drool over us, that's cool. But yes, just as we all agreed before we left, Liss and I actually may have to be more careful about our public image if we're going to be taken seriously as front- figures for our "Secret Project". Too bad, otherwise we could just go out and screw a swath through Hollywood. We met Hef. Actually, he seems to be a nice old man, polite to us anyway. A lot of his sex-rep is probably just PR, standard media business. He did make a fuss about how much I resemble my mom. It seems Hef remembers Sally Rathers quite fondly, although I didn't ask for details. She was young once too. lya, m&l
from mellywielson to mon aug 10 It was wonderful--and amazing--to hear that Pokey's been re-healed of alcoholism! Could that mean Addy has gotten his orator abilities back? I hope so, since I seem to have been the reason he lost them. Today Liss and I went to a studio that specializes in music videos. Bo Wassabi has directed some really cool dance & drumming videos, like "Another Time" by Loose Cliffhangers. If you don't know that video (being totally un-with-it) you can look it up on You Tube. Bo had lots of ideas for some truly cool video sequences for several of our songs (and not just "I Like to Run")--but of course, we would need Addy back to do them. So far, he's the guy we would go to. It was also comforting that Bo was professional enough not to hit on either Liss or me. That stuff was flattering at first but is now getting old fast. Tomorrow we've been invited to do screen tests for a small part in a real movie! Probably nothing will come of it, but it should be fun just to experience a casting. Especially since we don't really care whether we get the parts or not. It's an indie production, not a big studio extravaganza and I'd tell you the plot but have no idea what it's about except that they need a good girl and a bad girl--and that's Liss and me easy! (LISS here: Me being the good girl, of course--can't you just see Mel as a real bitch?) We don't really have time to get involved in a movie though, since we've already got a flight booked to Seattle this Wednesday. But we'll try out anyway, just to see what happens. So we're supposed to be at the studio at 6:30 in the morning (o God!). Maybe we should get some sleep tonight, for a change. (LISS here: Naaah, why spoil a perfect run up to now?) Hey, it's Full Moon tonight, wonder what Addy's doing, huh? lya, m&l
from mellywielson to tues aug 12 News Flash! Don't go to SeaTac to pick us up tomorrow night, we won't be there! We got the parts in that movie so we're staying another two weeks! I know how crazy that sounds, but it's happening and we're going to roll with it. We'll be filming in Death Valley starting tomorrow, actually the film crew has been there all week doing pre-production, so we should be able to just pop in, do our parts and be (theoretically) done in 10-12 days. You're not going to believe the chain of coincidences that have lead up to this; it's just like our magical concert in Seattle. I'm wondering if this is connected to Addy's vision somehow, seems like magic is still happening. For one thing, this movie is being directed by Stan Zevers (we'd never heard of him either, but who's supposed to be one of the bright new hopes) so a lot of hopeful young actresses had been lining up to try out for the two female leading roles, a couple of hundred including a few established stars, we heard. They had actors for all the other parts but still had to decide who the two girls were to be, having narrowed their choices down to six applicants when we showed up. They liked how we looked (LISS: who wouldn't?), they liked that we were already famous from being in Squatch & Friends, but they weren't about to just give us those parts if we stank as actresses. (LISS: Mel's forgetting to mention that they also liked that she is the famous Sally Rather's daughter!) Anyway, we had to do readings, just like every other girl. I was nervous and blew it a few times, so they weren't too sure about me. Liss was right on and they got pretty excited about her sexy charisma. For a while I thought they'd like her but not me. But they were still thinking of us as a boxed set, so they had us do a reading together. Blonde, innocent little old me as the angel, of course and dark dangerous Lissandra as the devil girl. It went okay, no mistakes, we were better together. But nobody was convinced, least of all us. Then Stan asked us to switch parts, to let Liss be the innocent one and me the evil bitch. That threw me off--I mean, I'm ALWAYS the nice girl!--but Liss and I went with it and had so much fun doing it that we got a round of applause-- and the parts! Nobody knows the title yet, but the story is based on a comic book by some writer/artist who calls himself "3R" and is about some symbolic happenings in an otherwise believable story--everything means two things, kind of a mind-bender with a twist ending. The two leading characters (as of now, played by Liss and me) are an angel and a devil--those good and bad girls. It's set in Hell, California (which actually exists!), where there's an church and a tavern and a bunch of good old boys. A passing bus full of migrant Mexican workers breaks down, a band of Hell's Angels show up, stuff happens. I mean, this is ART! I know I said we weren't really interested in doing a movie, but that was before we knew we would get to! Now just get out of our way, two up and coming Hollywood starlets coming through! Death Valley, here we come! lya, Melly & Liss
from mellywielson to mon aug 18 Hey Art & Elaine, our favorite old farts: Liss here, using Mel's laptop, she's too busy to write to anyone. Busy having fun, you'll be glad to know. Oh me too, but she's taken the lead for a while. Which is good, she needs it. Otherwise, Mel's been trying to put on a bright face ever since Adam--well, you know, last time they parted--I've read those jolly-fun e-mails she's been writing to you. But she can't fool old Mama Liss, she's still hurting and is RILLY getting kind of screwed up about it. Just thought I should warn you guys, you're her family. OUR family, I hope you don't mind me saying. But for now, this movie adventure is a real kick for both of us. I have no idea if it's going to end up being good or crap, could go either way, but being here with all these actors and other freaks has been like Satanic Bible Summer Camp, all one big party. We're about 25 people stuck in Death Valley together, half of them about our age and how many of them are dickable girls? 2, right. Okay, we've got a 45-year-old housewife running the food wagon, but she's not drawing any fire away from us. Outrageous propositioning going on non-stop. If I'd agreed to half of the offers I get I'd be bowlegged by now. Actually, I could use a little bowleggedness by now, so why the hell don't I agree to some of them? It's weird how Mel and I seem to be on some kind of celibacy trip together. Oh, she's into the flirting, trying to insulate herself from Adam, but he's still right next to her anyway and I don't think he's going to let any other guy take her away ever. At least, I hope not, they belong together. Okay, I admit it, WE belong together. You both know all about that. But making the movie, that's what I really want to write about! (Before I say too much that should be left unsaid.) The latest working title is "Welcome To Hell". It seems to me that we're doing some good work here, I mean all of us, cast and crew. Except for Mel and me, the other actors are all experienced and good at their characters. When Mel and I play against each other we're good too, high energy, lots of nerve. I've seen the rushes, they're not embarrassing at all. But playing against other actors is harder for me, I lose my confidence, start remembering what a complete amateur I am. I can't fool myself about how we are being given a chance like this being because we deserve it, or that either of us is any kind of natural talent. It's all because we're part of Freakfoot's Vision. Except that Mel, once she gets into her Diavola character stays being scary and is totally unlike herself. A hell of a lot worse than the bitch I was trying to be in High School. She thinks it must be some version of "method acting", drawn upon her experience with a real demon--meaning Adam, last time she saw him. I'm wondering just how bad she was traumatized, if she can call that up so easily. But off-camera she's still much less bitchy than me, so my rep is safe. The plan is still to come home on Wednesday the 27th, should land about 5:45 PM. If you still love us you could prove it by picking us up at SeaTac. Okay, bye. Whatever, Liss PS from Melly Whatever Liss wrote: I didn't do it...I hope. LYA

Chapter 86

Adam out of Eden