ART reporting events of Wednesday, 20 August--
Adam had been away three weeks almost to the day when he called us to say that
he was finally on his way home. It was around 8:00 in the evening, I happened
to answer the phone and heard: "Hi Dad, this is Adam."
"Adam? Man, have we been waiting to hear from you!" I shouted for Elaine
to join us on another phone. "In fact, it seems the whole WORLD is impatient
for you to show up again, there are so many projects in the works here just
screaming for your input."
"I guessed that. I borrowed this phone from some very friendly campers, who
are fans of Squatch & Friends and they showed me the CD. Looks pretty
professional. They say it's a big hit."
"You'll be amazed."
"My little baby bigfoot boy!" Elaine came on the line, "when are you coming
home to Mama?"
"I should be there before sundown tomorrow. Still got some miles to go."
"We'll come pick you up!" Elaine offered, "Where are you?"
"North Cascades National Park, but you can't pick me up because I've got five
other squatches in tow. Including me that's about a ton of squatch and we'd
never fit all of us into the van. Besides, the Nokhso world is completely new
to them and I don't think they're quite ready to go roaring down the Freeway
cooped inside a metal box. They'd freak!"
"You're bringing FIVE Nokhons here? Adam, you think that's wise?"
"We have to start sometime, and besides I really had to get Magga and Masnia
away from Aket. There's been a kind of revolution, I'll tell you all about
"Magga and Masnia, your..uh..two...girl friends?"
"Yeah, I know, Melly just might get upset about that, but there's nothing I
can do about it just now. I'll have to talk to her...if she's finally willing
to talk to me again."
"Good thing you're an Orator, Adam! Or wait, I'm assuming you ARE an Orator
again because Pokey's non-drinking promise suddenly kicked back into effect,
little over a week ago."
"It did? Wow, my magic word is GOOD! And yeah, I am fixed."
"What about that Adversary situation, get that settled too?"
"Oh yeah, Daklakht and I are friends now--sort of--the real villain was
someone else all along. Actually, the trouble going on in Aket right now is
because of that very same guy, a corrupt Elder named Dastardat, but he lives
in the Himalaya Mountains somewhere so it's pretty hard to get to him. More
about that later too. Main thing: coming home tomorrow, bringing guests."
Adam asked about Melly: if she was less afraid of him now that some time had
passed since the slobbering monster episode, we told him that she wasn't
talking about it anymore and that she had dedicatedly taken on the job of
handling Adam's share of the Squatch & Friends business. We informed him that
she and Lissandra were on a public relations tour to California at present,
doing TV shows and meeting VIPs, even acting in a movie. But of course, he
could just call her cell-phone anyway, no matter where she was.
"She still loves you, Addy," Elaine insisted, "she's just not sure what that
means anymore and I can't blame her. Talk to her." He said he would later
Adam and his friends arrived around 6:00 in the evening, coming out of the
woods north of the Mother Meadow. We were waiting there for them out there so
that the Nokhon newcomers wouldn't be nervous about the house and cars. Not
knowing exactly when they would show up, we had packed a picnic and waited a
few hours. Elaine, Doug, Pokey, Maki and myself were the welcoming committee.
Pokey's girlfriend Maki, who had only seen Adam on stage at the concert, was
intimidated enough by the prospect of meeting one Sasquatch, not to mention
six all at once, so except for being introduced to Adam she stayed very much
in the background.
The Nokhons were just as nervous as we were to be meeting strangers of an alien
race. At least we had experienced it before, when Dagrolyt had come among us,
and some of us could speak a few words of Nokhontli. Since Pokey was by far
the most fluent of us he had the duty of officially welcoming them to our home.
He was so good at it that it went quite well.
Elaine had, of course, provided for food to offer the hungry travelers. We
already knew what we could and should not give to Nokhons, so they were soon
happily munching on carrot sticks, celery, bananas and watermelon.
But first there was hugging and kissing of Adam by his mother, Pokey and Doug
threw themselves at him, I survived a huge bear hug, our boy was home again.
After that we could begin to study our new guests.
The two other males, Dabababet and Daworget, were about the same size as Adam,
which is to say around eight feet tall and in the 500-pound heavyweight
category. The three women were smaller and more diverse in size, ranging from
six to seven feet tall. I could easily tell which girls were Magga and Masnia
from Adam's descriptions of them, although I had never heard of Mazaha before.
One thing Adam's descriptions had not prepared me for was how exotically
beautiful both his women were. One has a preconceived mental picture of what
a "female Bigfoot" should look like: big, bulky, brutish, hairy and UGLY.
But both of these Nokhon girls had universally appealing faces, somewhat
Asiatic-Polynesian featured, spectacular healthy-bright eyes that any
man could get lost in. Each had a provocatively feminine figure, although
quite different from one another: voluptuous Magga was an Amazonian goddess,
slender Masnia a furry elf. Of course, they were still oversized and
muscular and covered with shaggy hair, but I was so used to Adam that I
The third girl, Mazaha, was also appealing enough in her own rough way, but
any comparison with Adam's two "girlfriends" seemed to indicate that he had a
talent for scoring the cream of the crop from Nokhon womankind. Just as he
had also scored not one but two of the most beautiful human girls imaginable,
golden Melly and dark Lissandra.
I was not the only male reacting to the beauty of those girls, Doug couldn't
help gawking at Masnia especially, stumbling around when he should have been
watching his step. Pokey wanted to stare as well, but he had a possessive
girl friend keeping her eye and a good solid grip upon him.
Adam introduced Elaine to his friends as his "Mamama", a Nokhon word everyone
can understand. All the squatches bobbed their heads in obvious respect,
especially Magga and Masnia, probably regarding Elaine as their new Mother-In-
Law. He introduced me as his Danat, "stepfather" or mother's mate,
biological fatherhood having no real significance in the Nokhon culture. But
he also went on to call me guru and friend, so I too got my share of respectful
Once they had been made welcome, we took all the newcomers on a tour of the
grounds: to the stalls where the horses were kept, through the chicken yard,
finally to the house itself. The squatches were still nervous about being here,
surrounded by buildings and machines, technology officially being skesk, their
culture's version of Satan's Tools. We demonstrated running water and electric
lights, Adam explaining everything in terms of Magic so that they could relate,
essentially trying to make them comfortable with the new concepts they would
be encountering in our society.
They were relieved when the tour was over so that they could return to the
safety of their forest at the edge of the Mother Meadow. It would take a
while to accustom themselves to this new culture, but there was no hurry.
We had set up our new "refugee camp" out there, basically just a camouflage
canvas stretched out between some trees, providing shelter from rain if
needed, but primarily intended to hide under when uninvited observers passed
overhead in small planes and helicopters (we had been getting quite a few of
those). Otherwise, there was only the natural forest itself with a clean
little creek trickling down from the hills. What else did squatches actually
want or need?
At least until they become corrupted by us.
Once his guests were safely tucked away for the evening, Adam returned with
us to the house. Before he went, however, there had been an agitated
discussion between him and his two ladies, who wanted to come with him. He
had to be firm with them and I was pleased to see that he could be.
Because back at the house there was so much important business waiting for
Adam's return that any relaxed socializing or time for personal intimacies
was abruptly put on hold: contracts, TV and radio projects, innumerable offers,
investment options, appointments to be scheduled, personal interviews requested,
financial agreements to be settled. It was far too much to deal with all at
once, but Adam needed to at least be aware of what was going on.
Elaine had been involved with many of the S&F negotiations, mostly assisting
Lissandra, so she began orienting Adam about what he needed to do and where
he needed to go, swiftly becoming all businesswoman instead of mother/house-
wife. She had lived and breathed all this for the last month and it was in
her blood now, just as much as it had become for Melly and Lissandra.
When the subject changed to our "secret project", Pokey stepped in to report
about his contacts among the various Indian tribal organizations and dealings
with Washington State and US Government agencies. Pokey had also become a man
with a mission and it suited him well.
Melly, not present, was the executor of the special foundation being set up.
Doug had been assisting her with the organizing of investors and charities, so
he could tell Adam some of what he needed to know. It was suggested that Adam
call her in Los Angeles for a real update.
"I think that Melly and I had better have a private conversation about our own
relationship before discussing anything about business," Adam commented.
There was also the now-pressing subject of what to do with the five squatches
in our so-called refugee camp.
"They are here to see just what the Nokhon world is," Adam explained, "and
seem to be connected to that Vision I keep referring to, although I had no
idea that these particular persons would be the first ones."
"But Adam," Doug asked, "do you have some official status with the Nokhon
authorities? Have you finally become their Negotiator?"
"No, at the moment I might be considered an outlaw, not sure. But then again,
the entire Nokhon Nation is in chaos right now, it may be that The Ultimate
Nine at Shamballah are the real outlaws. Some kind of change is in the wind
and it has to happen soon."
"But our guests out there," Elaine asked, "do they even WANT to join our
world?" She has a tender spot for squatches, wants to take care of them.
"Yeah," Pokey noted, "they do seem kinda freaked by it."
"Oh, they ARE freaked by it," Adam assured us, "but I was by their world too.
Both worlds have their positive and negative elements, hopefully we can end
up with a better world for both Nohso and Nokhon."
"Yes, Utopia would be nice, but we could also end up with a total catastrophe
instead," Doug cautioned, "we can't mess this up, like white man always does.
Look what they did to other Native Americans."
"My turn to speak for those poor downtrodden Injuns," Pokey said, "myself
being a prime example of white man's last major fuck-up. Truth is, most of
my fellow Indians are now blended into mainstream American lifestyle and have
zero desire to be living in teepees. Except for me, of course. My point is
that the real tragedy of the Red Man was and still is their very own genetic
weakness to alcohol. If these other squatches are anything like Adam, that's
not going to be a problem."
"So you really don't think there's any danger at all?" Doug challenged.
"Hey, I didn't say THAT! But I don't think it'll be a rerun of the Indian
situation. For one thing, there'll be no reservations, which can end up
being more bad than good for any self-reliant people."
"Squatches have other weaknesses," Elaine mentioned, "sugar especially, not
good for them. You all saw how fat Dagrolyt got from the ice cream. He was
supposed to be this Enlightened Guru above material pleasures, but was hooked
on vanilla ice cream anyway. And daytime TV."
"Speaking as a squatch," Adam rebutted, "we are genetically much healthier
than you puny humans can ever be, even I'm still amazed by what this body
can tolerate. As for Dagrolyt, yeah he did get kind of chubby there, but three
days back into the wilderness it was all burned away. Squatches are not
especially delicate creatures."
"There is something I wish to understand," shy little Maki suddenly speaking
up, surprising us all, "From what I have learned about all this, the Nokhontli
have been doing just fine for the last ten thousand years without all the junk
of civilization. Why mess with that? Why not just let them remain myth
"Very good question, Maki," Adam replied, "one I keep asking myself. Am I
making a big bad mistake bringing the Nokontli among us? As Doug said, it
could go wrong in so many ways. So I have to remind myself every once in a
while that I'm doing this because I had that Vision, and up to now everything
else about it has come true."
"Yes, Pokey told me this is a Dream Quest for you," Maki commented, "but a lot
of shit has gone down because of crazy people with visions. I'm sure Napoleon
and Adolf Hitler had visions too. Not that I'm saying you're crazy, Adam, I
mean, I hardly know you."
"But it's a good point anyway," Adam admitted, "where did that Vision come from?
Some kind of Nokhon tribal memory? God? Planted by the evil masters at Shamballah?
My own subconscious? I have no idea."
"Then how can you trust it?"
"Because of everything else happening simultaneously: Global Warming, over-
population, deforestation, pollution, overconsumption of everything available
until there is no more. And every threat to technology-based civilization is
also closing in on the Nokhontli-- they have almost nowhere left to hide.
"Nokhons believe that when Mankind does find them they will use their war-skesk
to conquer anyone who would stop them from finishing off the planet. But the
Nokhontli are survivors, that's actually just about all they do.
"According to the Atli, the Nokhontli have survived this situation several
times before over the last hundred thousand years by toppling one
civilization after another. Word out is that the Ultimate Nine Elders of
the current Nokhon government at Shamballah are preparing to do so again."
"That global EMP you've mentioned before? You really believe they can do it?"
Doug asked. "With sha-haka magic?"
"Oh, yeah. People look at me funny when I tell them I've been studying magic,
squatches look at me funny when I tell them that skesk is NOT magic. There
is more than one way to manipulate energy."
"But what could they actually DO to topple our civilization?" Maki asked.
"If they get enough Sha-hakas scattered around the planet to co-operate on the
magic," Adam explained, "they can use the magnetic field of the Earth itself to
generate something like a perpetual short circuit. Electricity wouldn't work
"Of course, we could still have non-electric weapons and steam machines," Doug
reflected, "like back in the 1800s. THAT might be rather romantic."
"Except for the mess left behind by crashing airplanes and burning hospitals,
all financial data wiped out everywhere at once, stuff like that," Adam said,
"so it might be prudent to keep that from happening: which is what My Vision is
all about." He turned to Maki, "you asked how I can trust it? I ask, how dare
We took a consensus and found that all of us agreed that following through with
Adam's Vision was the only way to go. The evidence of its validity could be
calculated by the millions of dollars streaming through our office ever since
the Concert, just as his Vision had predicted.
Land had been purchased, petitions had been applied to various US Government
offices and organizations, the ball was already rolling. And now we had our
first wave of Immigrants: five real-live Nokhons.
"But what do we do with them?" Elaine was concerned for her new babies, "They
will be like lost children in our society. They're used to the peace and
quiet of nature, not city traffic. They're unemployable and can't build a
future. Those poor..."
"Mom, I'm one of them. Look at me, what I can do."
Elaine stopped in mid sentence. And smiled. She was convinced.
"We'll start out slow, like we did with Dagrolyt: teach them some English,
proper behavior and good manners. Give them clothes, all this heading toward
procuring them legal identities as American citizens so that Immigration can't
hassle them for being illegal aliens."
"So we get to start up our Language School again? Cool!" Pokey was enthusiastic,
he who had always disliked going to school. Well, he'd be a teacher now and
that he did like.
"Let's give them a few days to acclimate to this place before we even think
about showing them downtown Seattle. We can begin lessons tomorrow, languages
both ways for us and them, like we did with Dagrolyt."
"We can set up a flat screen outdoors and show those videos Adam and Dagrolyt
made last time," I said, also excited about becoming a teacher again.
"I'll go buy some bed sheets tomorrow and sew up some basic clothes for them,
simple dresses for the girls, campesino shirts and pants for the guys." Mamama
Elaine was just getting into gear.
"Right," Pokey quipped, "can't have any naked Nokhons scandalizing white man's
America." His girl friend Maki was loyal enough to giggle.
I said, "It's going to be almost impossible to keep our guests secret once
word gets out that Adam has returned from Squatchland. We'll immediately be
under massive assault by the media folk again. TV vans, helicopters and
planes, you all know the drill."
"Exactly," Adam agreed, "so we're going to officially introduce myself and
them to the world at my very next press conference," Adam said. "if we
schedule that for this coming Friday, that gives us four days to get ready."
"Oh shit," Pokey said, "you think they can take it? It's hard enough for US
to face all those cameras and reporters and people who want to exploit us."
"Not to mention racists and bigots," Elaine reminded us all.
"Oh, at least one of them can take it," Adam assured us, "in fact, I suspect
that Masnia may just become the Master of both worlds. Just watch."
It was late when we broke up our gathering. Elaine and I went to bed, Adam
went back out to the woods to join his friends. Pokey went with him. I think
I even heard Adam's old Mexican guitar and Pokey's tom-toms playing softly at
The next day Adam brought his group of friends to the house for breakfast.
Not that they needed food, having already foraged for thistles and roots, but
when he offered to make them French toast they had all become excited and
joined in the parade.
Elaine started to get after Adam for that, still concerned about giving
squatches white bread and jam, saying, "It's not good for them!"
"They can handle it, Mom, I just want them to like coming to the house so that
we can show them how technology works."
"Squatches don't need anything we have, including technology," Elaine rampaged,
"so liking it only makes them addicted to stuff they don't need! Remember
poor Dagrolyt getting hooked on daytime TV? My God, are you out to ruin these
"No, I'm out to educate them. Because of watching TV Dagrolyt left here with
a very comprehensive concept of how life in the USA works, perfectly aware
that materialism and overconsumption is the most dangerous aspect of the
Nokhso threat to all life on Earth. Besides, Pokey and Maki went out to buy
some organic whole wheat bread, lemon and honey, it'll be okay. You want
some French toast too?"
Elaine glowered for a moment, then threw up her hands in surrender, "Oh hell,
let me make it for them. You go show them the stereo system, I don't care."
She was never any good at disapproving of Adam.
Six Sasquatches in the house was stretching the capacity of that old building,
it was solid but the floor was creaking under so much weight. After Adam
demonstrated the stereo and TV, breakfast was served out on the lawn by the
rear terrace. The squatches were becoming much more relaxed about their new
The newcomers had not been overwhelmed by the wonders of modern science, having
each stumbled across examples of Nokhso skesk at some point in their lives.
The very night before they had arrived had been spent with some odd people
named Zack and Butterfly, who had played Adam's brand-new CD on a fairly good
stereo system, so that was everyday stuff for them now.
Except for Masnia, she WAS overwhelmed by the stereo, especially after Adam
had played a few samples from our CD collection: some Elton John, Celine
Dion, Meat Loaf, Dire Straits, Beethoven's 9th. Her eyes and mouth had gone
wide open and she just couldn't quite close them again. But Abba's Best of
CD simply paralyzed her.
Her reaction to our musical culture was reminiscent of that time we first had
introduced our newfound baby Bigfoot boy to music. Adam showed her how to use
the stereo herself. After that, well, there she was every day; a typical teen-
ager sprawled out on the sofa listening to music on headphones. She was hooked
and exactly where she wanted to be.