Chapter 92: A Shocking Sight
LISSANDRA reporting events of Sunday, 31 August--
When Mel and I got back from LA to meet Freakfoot and the five new Bigfoot
buddies he'd brought home to us, right in the middle of the negotiations
for record deals, movie deals, land purchases and secret plans to set up
a Wookie Reservation, it seemed like too much too soon. Oh, it was cool
too, this was just what had to happen anyway, but I--me, Lissandra Jane
Cunnings--had kind of a personal crisis about it.
Honestly? I was afraid of the Wookies. Okay, now I know that they're all
really nice people, humongous big but actually quite gentle. But the first
time I met them it was like being surrounded by giant gorillas, me wondering
if they sometimes stampede, or whatever big monkeys do. I wanted to keep
out of their way so I wouldn't get trampled to pieces.
Even more honestly? I was pissed off about the chicks. Freakfoot just
had to come back with those two--maybe three--Wookie girl friends. I
mean, I could understand that he HAD to bring them, they had all escaped
from some kind of heavy rioting in Aket. And he had to get back here
himself because of all the fuss our concert had caused. What could he do?
It's just that he broke Mel's heart. She was being faithful to him--even
tho she didn't want to be, but Mel turned down some pretty handsome guys
in Hollywierd anyway--and he shows up with two Bigfoot babes that we KNOW
he's banging. He'd already told us--no, let's say bragged--about his hot
love affairs with sexy Magga and cute Masnia (who is his SISTER!).
Okay, it's true that Mel was still pissed at him for being a slobbering
monster who raped her the night of the Concert, but she had been just just
just about to forgive him. She told me so. And it's true that she and he
never could have all-out sex anyway, so it's maybe not fair to blame him
for finally taking a Wookie lover he could nail once in a while. But two?
Okay, it's ALSO true that Mel and I had become pretty much a two-girl set
for him, so he was kinda USED to having two girls...who he wasn't actually
banging, but almost, so what the hell. But anyway and anyway, now he has
to have FOUR?
All right, so I'm not being totally honest here, am I? I'm complaining
that he broke Mel's heart, like I'm some kinda innocent bystander. My
heart got crunched up too. I keep pretending that I'm not totally and
helplessly in love with Addy, but I am, I am.
When Freakfoot went off on his "heroic quest" everything changed for all
For one thing, there was no more band. We'd been playing music almost
night and day for over two months, and then... nothing. No more music, no
more rehearsing, no more magic. That had been our LIFE and suddenly...
well, zip. suddenly we were totally busy doing business instead. That's
all we rilly had time for; there was just so much of it.
Already the day after the concert the offers began coming in for Squatch &
Friends: the road trip, Madison Square Garden, Albert Hall, the Las Vegas,
The Movie. It was Overnight Success and totally insane! The record deal
was peanuts compared to the offers we were getting for personal appearances.
The Movie deal was even bigger. The offers poured in. And what did we
have? No Freakfoot, no band.
We told them Adam was away and that slowed some of them down, but they took
another look at Mel and me (and a sideways glance at the Injun over there)
and decided that we were two hot chicks sexy enough to sell some shit
anyway and suggested that we just get another lead singer. Can you figure?
We just ran away screaming!
We rilly missed Freakfoot too. Or I did; Mel had some totally heavy shit
to resolve about what had happened the last time she saw him on That Night,
so she was trying hard not to miss him. But I'd spent the next night with
him, when he was all normal again, so I had another picture of him in my
head than the horror-video Mel keeps replaying over and over again;
"slobbering monster scene, take 666."
No, my private reruns are about that one night I had him all to myself.
And no, we didn't screw, but only because it didn't seem fair to Mel while
she was away at her dad's suffering about what happened. Otherwise I
coulda had him, that's for sure. But it was a special night because we
talked about what we felt. A lot of it was about Mel; how sad Freakfoot
was that he'd hurt her. But some of it was about me and him and none of
that was sad at all.
So I'm missing him enough to be almost as messed up as Mel, just in the
opposite direction. What, just because I'm in love with some Wookie? Naw,
not me; I'm in love with a Forest God and miss everything about him that
I've never found in any human guy. Or that's the way it seemed to me at the
time. And now.
I don't think I've ever really fallen in love before, probably because I
could always get any guy I wanted, so why settle for one? Besides, nice
guys bored me and the ones who did interest me were usually assholes, so I
wasn't USED to this sentimental shit. And now I know why: it hurts!
I'd been happy being around him, even sharing him with Mel made me happy,
and now I miss that and too many things that can't be replaced by anyone
else. The music, for one thing, had become so total, and now there was
just silence. No one else could make his music, that's not romanticizing
about a guy, it's just a fact.
I miss his voice--he's a Magic Orator, it's like hearing God speak. I
miss his smile, goofy and dumb, the damn Wookie. Miss his big hairy
body, his shy°mat, his monstrous maleness. Good thing I never had
actual sex with him, or I'd be missing that too.
Who am I kidding? I do miss sex with him, even tho I never ever once
had his big dick inside me. But I knew it well and now I fantasize about
it: how tight he'd fit. Mel said he'd just squeezed inside her that one
time on the roof and since we share the same shoe size...
And actually, it's totally bullshit to say we never had sex just because
Addy couldn't "fuck" Mel--or me--my god, the three of us were together in
bed every night, just innocently cuddling except for the naked part,
Freakfoot's giant hands cozily cupping one ass each (fingers about the
size of a regular-guy's dick, by the way and ju-u-ust as effective). There
were orgasms all around, we all got our share. And then, almost the best
part, loving Orator words that left us all feeling totally satisfied. Real
sex had never been so good.
I mean, my mother has lived in a dickless lesbian relationship for years
and she calls that a sex-life. Not that I've ever seen what Mom and Ruth
do in the privacy of their bedroom or asked about the nitty-grittys, but
it can't be much different than what we do, there are only so many
We were all kind of shy about it at first, I mean Freakfoot was Mel's guy,
I was just a guest and maybe she did want me to screw him for her but what
did HE want? As for what I wanted--oh yeah, I desired him, but was still
spooked about his size and weight, not sure I dared to take a dick THAT BIG
into my delicate little flower-bud. But so what? I loved him, I trusted
him, it had to happen sooner or later. Only it didn't.
We all knew where it was headed and since Addy is no good at being anything
but honest we talked it over the first night the three of us were in Addy's
big half-outdoor bed, instead of letting things go unsaid and pretending
that we were just hanging out. It's nice a warm summer night so we're all
casually naked, of course. I mean, how else would we hang out? All laid
back looking up at stars between trees around the house. Mel and I on each
side of him, kind of cuddly and lazy, right? I think we were supposed to
sleep or something, but I'm way too busy burrowing my nose into the guy's
musk-smell and Mel's casually caressing him. So I notice this really big
boner sticking straight up, probably because that's what Mel is caressing.
I'd seen his his hard-ons before, glimpses, in passing, but never in open
display mode like that. Yeah, we all got naked at the lake a lot, but
nobody struts around the dock with a stiff dick, just sort of not done.
It was a relief to finally see the Whole Thing because I'd been DREADING...
well, you can guess. Sure, it was big, but not TOO big. Not for me. (I
once had this heavy-duty black boy friend for a short while, a linebacker
on the UW Varsity Football Team and man, talk about Extra-Large! His was
even bigger than Freakfoot's! And that was cool, once I got used to it.
Okay, I even rilly LIKED it--just not enough to put up with that guy's big
ego too.) Another thing: I'd been expecting Freakfoot's dick to be RILLY
UGLY, crooked and hairy with warts, y'know? But it was totally beautiful!
God, listen to me! Point is, Freakfoot had something I would have loved
to love with, including an acceptable ego. I got over being afraid of it
then and there.
So Mel is caressing this very nice piece of meat. I can't help watching.
She can't help looking over at me to make sure I'm watching. She smiles,
nods to me. This is clearly the "come on" sign, followed by a "please"
expression. So what the hell, I caress it too.
But Freakfoot sits up and sez: This is very nice, but we need to talk--you
know, those sad words that usually end all the fun. But not this time.
Instead we tell each other what we feel and want as a threesome, putting it
all out there. I've never been so honest about negotiating a love affair
with a man--and a woman. So I finally admit to Freakfoot--and to Mel--and
to myself--that I love him. Me, who never tells any man that. And he
admits that he loves me too--and LUSTS for me a LOT. He never does say
that he loves Mel more than me, that cosmic truth never becomes an issue.
But he does say that his old Promise "never to fuck Melly" is a problem for
all three of us. Because altho he yearns for me, he yearns for Mel just
as much and feels totally WRONG about doing the one and not the other. So
if we're going to be a threesome we'll all have to endure the curse of that
promise together: so he can't "fuck" me either.
Mel tries to argue that she WANTS him to screw me, that it would make her
feel better. But Freakfoot says, No, Mell, there's some kind of Magic
happening here between the three of us; I can sense it and so can both of
you. So Mel and I share a Look because, hey, we CAN feel it too.
What is this, Mel asks, part of that old Vision of yours again?
I don't know what it is, Freakfoot says, the Promise Itself maybe. It's a
kind of magic too, you know. Like an instinctual thing.
Sure, I speak with out with my vast wisdom about magic stuff, it's a typical
Sacrifice Enchantment spell. (Hey, I'd been into Dungeons and Dragons once.)
Freakfoot blesses me with a look of appreciation. Exactly, he agrees, saying
there are rules that must not be violated.
But then, us all being so totally honest with each other, I have to go and
bring up the miserable fact that we were only three in a bed because Mel
wanted me to bang Freakfoot for her. She was making a noble sacrifice to
finally give her guy some sexual satisfaction. But since that wasn't going
to happen...well, what did they need me for? They were a couple in love,
wasn't an extra (although hot) girl actually just in the way?
I totally dreaded saying that, afraid they would look at each other and go,
Oh My god, she's right! Oh, Liss, can you go sleep in the other room?
We'd like some privacy now, please!
And they do look at each other all right, kinda surprised-like--but then
both say NO! together, in total agreement. Mel being just as honest as me
says, I want you here for ME too, Liss, the three of us feel right for some
And Freakfoot says, Melly knows I've always had a thing for you, Liss, so
she IS satisfying her guy. I was so relieved, really knocked back by how
much I wanted this. So we all hugged and kissed for the rest of the night,
and yeah, there were some orgasms had but that wasn't what it was about.
It was about us being US and it DID feel right.
So it was agreed that Mel and I were equally unbangable, which was fine
with me, considering how cozy we three could get without it anyway.
But now it seems to be just Mel and me. Or our threesome has become a
five-some, only without us. It's like Mel and I are a dickless couple now,
just like my Mom and Ruth, NOT the kind of relationship I have ever yearned
for. Oh, Mel and I are still best friends, we're formidable together doing
the Squatch & Friends PR stuff, we're both messed up about Freakfoot, and
we're both sleeping in Adam's bed every night. But without him.
The guy we were missing is back at last, but sleeping out at the Mother
Meadow with the other squatches--including his two chicks. Which is only
because Mel is being bitchy to him, chasing him away, telling him not to
Thing is, I WANT to be bothered, I'm not mad at him. But I'm not ready to
bail on Mel either. Not yet, even tho she's acting kind of crazy. It's
totally clear that she needs me just now.
When we'd been sharing the bed with Freakfoot it was because we were both
turned on by a guy so hyper-masculine that we almost NEEDED to share him.
It had never been about girl-sex. Okay, we could get pretty affectionate
with each other in bed with him, kissing and squeezing, but I don't think
either one of us has any real lesbian cravings. Maybe too bad, I mean it
could be nice because Mel is so fine, and we DO love each other. But man,
what I really want is some dick, and so does she.
Unlike me, Mel is not afraid of those big hairy sasquatches at all. Okay,
she's grown up with one. She's also worked a lot harder at learning
Nokhontli than I ever did, so she can even talk to them pretty well.
Yeah, I'm trying to learn it too, but all the Squatch & Friends business
is still taking up a lot of my time. Actually, I get off on that--being
the cool music executive, wheeling and dealing, pushing huge clumps of
money around--that is just so ME. But studying a Language?
Mel is also an Anthropology major, and squatches are what that's all about,
so she spends a lot more time with them than I do. She likes them all,
even those Wookie chicks who stole her/our man, Magga and Masnia. Sure,
she resented them at first, then finally decides she and Freakfoot are
better off platonic anyway--tho she hasn't even been platonic-friendly
to him since we got back.
Actually I kinda like them too, tho I barely know Magga or Mazaha, but
Masnia kinda insists on her and me being pals. Which is cute and the way
she practically begged me to cut her hair totally reminds me of myself at
13 years old (o god, I just hope she isn't!). All by herself she buys a
copy of Vogue Magazine when they had squatch-day in Monroe, just because
Mel had casually mentioned something about fashion. So she shows me this
ad with some sexy supermodel, hair clipped in short pixie-style. Me want
THAT! she demands, totally decided that THIS IS THE LOOK. Okay, so I cut
her hair like she asks, and Wow, she's right! She looks great, 'specially
with that body-hair trim-job Mel gave her. She's got an amazing eye for
style, that girl, considering where she's from.
So I've decided not to be jealous of those Wookie chicks, they're not even
trying to take "Dadamet" away from Mel or Me, a harem-like relationship is
totally normal in their culture. The more the merrier, I guess. No, the
problem right now is Mel.
Because tho Mel gets along famously with all the other squatches, she's
being either nasty or nothing-but-business with Mister Adam Leroy Forest,
shooting for "formal and cool" at best. And it's a mess--they've got a
musical career together, there's His Vision to fulfill, which Mel
totally believes in. She keeps saying, What more could she expect from
a relationship they can never consummate?
But man is she erratic! She hates him in person, then when we're alone she
loves him all over again--until she sees him next time. I started worrying
about her in LA, but now she's a lot worse. She knows it too.
Finally, about a week after we'd come back from Hollywierd, she can't stand
it anymore. Mel can no more fall out of love with Freakfoot than I can.
So she and I are together in bed--just sleeping, if it's anyone's
business--when she starts crying and saying how she has to fix this mess,
forgive him; beg for him to come back to her--to us. We talk about it
until almost dawn, then both get dressed and trek out to the squatch camp.
I want him back too, we can beg together.
That's the first time I've ever visited the squatch "camp", which is tucked
just under the trees at the far edge of the meadow. Freakfoot and Art had
pitched a kind of open military camouflage tent, mostly just to hide under
when those little airplanes come snooping, since squatches aren't rilly
into any kind of housing anyway.
The only squatch we can find is Dabababet, meditating on Atli, or whatever
it is Wookies do when they just squat on one foot in some impossible yoga
position. He says the others are out foraging for thistles and other yummy
goodies. When we ask where Dadamet is he points thataway and says something
like, "Uhh-zza-ma." Mel tells me that means "by the creek", so we go that
We aren't even trying to be quiet, it's impossible to sneak up on a Bigfoot
in the woods anyway, they hear you, they smell you, so we just crunch crunch
crunch through twigs and bushes until we reach the creek.
But we end up sneaking up on them anyway, they don't hear us but we can sure
hear them--from a distance. Thumping sound, crashing bushes, grunts, moans.
That tinkle-tinkle laughing squatch chicks do. Mel and I look at each
other, pretty sure of what it sounds like. So then we DO begin to sneak.
Hide behind a tree, peeky-peeky.
Oh yeah, there they are: Dadamet, Magga and Masnia. And yes, two of them
are having sex. Prodigiously. No wonder they don't hear us, they're just
plain too busy.
Maybe we should look away to protect our innocent young eyes from such a
shocking sight--but we don't, no way. I mean, we CAN'T, it's just too
spectacular. The raw animal-ness of all that power they're spending on each
other is totally awe-inspiring-some.
Freakfoot is on top of Magga, really giving it to her, I mean POUNDING her
ass into the dirt with all his 500+ pounds and superhero strength. It looks
like he's got to be killing her, but she's just grunting and laughing and
obviously getting off on it. Then she does a bump and grind with her hips
that tosses him over like he doesn't weigh anything and she's on top of
him like a hungry tiger, gonna eat him up.
We can see that they aren't really being rough on each other, both built for
this kind of big-scale Bigfoot Sex, they're just really excited and having a
lot of fun, sweating and breathing hard. Then they both come, gasping and
roaring like mating Polar Bears, or any big muscular monsters, then go all
nice and cozy-quiet.
A few drops of jizz spray all the way out to the tree Mel and I are hiding
behind, so that we can watch it up real close, slowly dripping down the bark.
Mel looks at it, closes her eyes, a tear drips down her face just like that
jizz. I wonder if she's traumatized. Or if I am. But I am sure of one
thing: I couldn't survive getting banged like that!
Now that the woods are quiet, Mel and I are trapped behind the tree, there's
no way we can sneak out of there without three squatches noticing us. We
try not to breathe too loud, deciding what to do. But the show's not quite
Masnia has been squatting beside them all along, wearing her new MP3 player.
Probably still obsessing over all the new music to discover. She'd been
half-watching Dadamet and Magga go at it, politely waiting for them to
She says something to them, they both laugh. Then Magga stands up, shakes
herself like a happy puppy and they talk a little, tinkle-tinkle laughing.
Masnia hands Magga the MP3 player, shows her how to put on the earphones,
and they trade places.
Freakfoot's still lying on his back, looking all used up. But Masnia gives
his dick a little nudge with her foot and it jumps back to life. Boing-ng-ng!
Stiff and swollen to full-oversize again, ready for another round of Bigfoot
balling. I noticed that Mel jumps a little too, surprised he could DO that.
Then cute little Masnia squats down onto it and off they go, rocking and
This time it's not so rough, Freakfoot is much more gentle with her and
Masnia's nowhere near so wild as Magga, tho it sure sounds like she's
having just as much fun. I find that encouraging: I could handle being
screwed that way. But we don't stay to see if the action escalates, we've
seen enough for now. Masnia and Adam are occupied, Magga's listening to
music, if we are going to slip away unheard it's got to be now.
So we do, careful and quiet as two Nokhso chicks can be in the woods. Once
far enough away we turn and run out of the woods and all the way back to
Later we talk about what we'd seen, Mel says how Addy had always been
effectively impotent with her because of his promise to her dad-- and that
was still the situation. But we had just seen how potent Adam rilly was!
Scary potent. Way too potent for us poor little Nokhso girlies!
Mel finally says, I think I'm over ever wanting that from him anymore. I
can't stop loving him, but maybe we can go back to being brother and sister,
like when we were kids.
I agree, says me, I don't want Wookie-sex bad enough to die for it. But as
for that sister thing... Masnia IS his sister!
So we both totally write Adam Leroy Forest out of our sex lives from now on.