ART reports--

(continuing from Chapter 70)

As previously mentioned, this concert is already so well documented that it 
might seem redundant to write one more eye-witness report about it, were it 
not for my Privileged Insider perspective.  

After his solo performance of Wild and Wooly Sasquatch, which was a song 
that only Adam could sing anyway, the "little story" he told went like this:

"Those of you who have followed any news media concerning me may recall that 
I disappeared into the mountains for a while last year.  You probably know 
the official story--I was shot, maybe dead, etc.  And now that I'm back, 
people are wondering where I've been for the last half a year.  

"Well, for personal reasons I'm not ready to talk about that to the general 
public.  Besides, it would be much more fun to entertain the fantasy of where 
a lot of people seem to THINK I've been: Squatchland."

A few people in the audience laughed, others gasped.  Well, ME, for example: 
what the Hell was Adam doing?  This was information he had been keeping 
secret up to this moment.

"What's so great about Squatchland, you ask?  Well, actually, could be better, 
could be worse, just like here.  The squatch people live simply or complexly, 
just like here.  No technology, that's forbidden, but they have magic instead.

"There are these wise old shaman squatches who teach about the life-force that 
flows through the earth, and each of us.  They call it HAKA.  We--I mean, YOU 
people--call it many things: Spirit, Ki, Chi, Kundalini, the Force, whatever, 
you all know what I mean.  

"If you can control that energy, it becomes Magic.  Now in this culture, 
people are not encouraged to believe in Magic, which seems to be something 
from nothing, and therefore a clear violation of the laws of Physics.  But 
only because they don't recognize what Magic really is.  Or what nothing is.

"Something from nothing?--we do that all the time.  Literature, mathematics, 
computer software, intellectual properties.  Music.

"Yes, music is nothing but magic! Think about it: we have silence--right now,
listen---no music.  Music, in fact, does not exist except when you hear it: 
even a CD is only silent digital code on a plastic disc.  Besides, how 
many ancient songs, from Egypt, Babylon and Atlantis, have simply vanished 
because they were never written down or recorded?  Time- and timing--are 
elements of both magic and music.  Perhaps your favorite melody has not yet 
been composed?   

"In a few moments this hall might shake with the intense power of sound waves, 
brain waves, feelings, emotions, but right now nothing.  Don't hear it, can't 
see it, so it must not exist.  But you all know it's here, don't you?  It's 
going to flow between us all in a few minutes, we're going to be picked up by 
it, elevated, moved, connected.  So it must BE here somewhere, dormant, 
waiting..."

Adam paused dramatically.  That great hall full of people was eerily silent, 
the audience hypnotized.

"Let me show you.  Here, everybody just pretend that I'm a Sha-haka, a wise 
old shaman sasquatch telling you how to make your HAKA flow.  Of course, you 
already know how to do that, we do it every day, all the time, just some times 
more than others.  This is one of those sometimes, so you'll actually be able 
to FEEL it here tonight." 

Pokey's tom-tom red man drum had heads bobbing now.  

"Notice: it always passes UP through you, up from the earth and through you, 
on upward out into the universe.  Be aware of that haka because we're going 
to be sharing it in the music.  

"So to get all of our hakas flowing we're going to titillate you a little, 
hope that's all right.  Let's go down to where the haka starts, at the most 
basic levels of animal experience.  Night in Squatchland, a Full Moon, the 
community gathers.  The females are in heat, the males in rut, primordial 
urges are celebrated in tribal abandon, while dancing to the glorious Goddess 
of the Night, Ma-Ket the Moon..."

    Full Moon upon us tonight, 
    Smell the females in heat, 
    Take the mushrooms to eat,
    Time to meet in the street 
          of the wilderness...

That was one of the songs from the band's session with Dagrolyt. They had 
almost decided it was too close to the truth about the Nokhontli and dropped 
it from their playlist, even though they all liked it.  But it simply "came 
up anyway" while they were on stage and was just right for the occasion.  
However, that's the song that may not be played on the radio since the FCC 
claims that it arouses prurient interests.  Which it probably does.

The next song was also about being aroused, but with enough ribald humor to 
keep it light. The FCC is after this one too, but it's all over the Internet.   

     When I heard you play just the other day 
     I said, "Hey, I like the way she performs!" 
     You might even be in tune with my key, 
     I'd like to play with your organ and horns. 
          For the music is mighty, and the rhythm is too 
          And the musician you hear  
          Would like to make some music with you. 

The band had had a lot of fun writing that one (they tell me). I might remind 
you that they were all tripping on kosh and naked at the time. Pokey 
later told me that performing that song was like a flashback for them and the 
audience was taken along for the ride.  Everyone became very excited, many of 
them erotically. 

Oh yes, the audience is pulsing now.  I look around and see that most couples 
are getting very cozy, strangers eyeing one another.  I discover that I am 
cupping Elaine by a breast and she is gripping my thigh. Everyone was touching 
someone else.  Or themselves.  Look at the videos on Internet, you'll see. Of 
course, for MTV and the DVD they've edited out the few people who were actually 
having sex in the seats.

So Adam calls out, "Okay, I think you're all becoming aware of your hakas 
now, so let's play with it.  There's a chant they do in Squatchland to get 
a little natural high, goes like this: Yhooo yaaaa yeee.  Try it with me...

We all chant along, feeling silly but getting into it.  Adam stops us and 
divides the audience into three parts, each of them chanting a different 
tone, creating a harmony.  We all like it, our collective voices impressive, 
and put more power into it.

It's beautiful, like a Tibetan OM.  (You have probably heard it on the CD, but 
being there was better, uplifting, the concert hall resonating around us.) 

And that's when Adam really pulls us in.  "All right, I think we've got a 
connection here--let's try it out."  The band is now playing a musical 
interlude with a driving jungle beat.  Adam is dancing like a dervish, the 
weight of his bigness made light by a power inside him.  Melly kicks back 
her piano stool and dances in place as she plays.  Pokey is  already doing 
an Indian dance.  Lissandra is just killing the guys with her butt & belly 
moves.  And now we join them, dancing at our seats, out in the aisles.

There is no pause before they go into the high-energy athletic I Like To Run:

     I like to run,
     No one can run like me,
     I'm free
     When I run.
     The earth is whirling underneath my feet, 
     I dance where mountains decorate my golden street,
     Where rivers flow forever and repeat, 
     As I'm keeping to the rhythm of the beat
     That my feet
     Have done--
     I like to run!

The audience goes nuts, it's feeding-time at the Monkey House!  They were 
acting out the song in place; running, climbing, flying.  So the next song  
had to cool the frenzied atmosphere to keep the audience from burning out, 
it was time to be cerebral instead of orgiastic. 

Take Me Seeking and So Long, Babylon are also full of encrypted 
Nokhon secrets, religious images and apocalyptic prophecies, but in the case 
of Babylon, played disarmingly and presented as a fun sci-fi short story.

     A refugee from Eden, he has come to Babylon. 
     He finds it all so interesting, too bad it must go down. 
     He comes to bring a message which we do not wish to hear: 
     "In Eden they are saying that The Fall is very near, 
     Babylon is just too dangerous for everything alive, 
     And in Eden they are ready to make sure the world survives. 
          There must be some changes in how Babylon is run 
          Or this all rearranges, and it's soon to be 
          So Long to Babylon." 

Then came the blue numbers, Lonelyman and Mountain Forest, meant to 
straighten that audience out. Squatch & Friends also offered some love songs 
to round out the emotional spectrum: the classically romantic That You Are, 
which he had written for Melly while she was away in Indonesia; and the angry 
teen-age-loser number Mean to Me.

     We were never lovers—crap, we weren't even friends
     Even though we went to the same school
     She said I was ugly, stupid, weird and dense
     I wondered why she had to act so cruel.
     Although I also kind of understood that she could tell what I was feeling
     Which was hardly good, since she found me unappealing
          But oh, how I wish that I could have her
	  That she'd gladly give herself to me. 
	  Oh, how I wish that she would have me,
	  But she only wants to be 
               Mean to me.

That song was obviously written about Lissandra back when she was being a high 
school bitch--but it had started out as one of the weakest of Adam’s old songs 
because he just couldn’t bring himself to write anything unkind about her.  It 
was Lissandra who insisted that he rewrite it to tell it like it was, suggesting 
nasty lines, and they had a lot of fun with it.  Maybe she wanted to offer him a 
little revenge.

Another love song in the set was the dramatic One I Can't Forget (which Adam 
eventually admitted was about every girl he loved).

     Although I could not keep her as my lover 
     I'm happy that she was. 
     And tho I know I'll never get her in my power 
     She is, somehow, because 
          She's the one I can't forget, 
          The one I still long for: 
          She's a pristine holy priestess, 
          She's a golden-hearted whore, 
          She's an archetypal fantasy, 
          She's a woman whom I know. 
               But please do not confuse me now 
               By asking what is real; 
               I can't help what I feel. 

You Gotta Get A Goal was the S&F's big inspirational message that was to 
"end" the concert--but they had counted on at least one encore, for which 
they had saved their best feel-good song, Self-Same Trip, intending to 
leave their audience in a happy place for the band change.

     You are all fine companions, we are flowing with the going,
     Could be fine to travel with you all the way,
     As the highway keeps unrolling.
     Let us stride together to this song,
     And if we should separate, we'll reunite, because it's fate,
     For we are on the self-same trip
     And have been all along.

But the audience was not happy about them leaving. Not at all.They had 
played their 13 songs in the hour and a quarter that was their share of the 
concert (satisfying Adam's Vision) and then it was time for Chrome Pie to 
go on.  Squatch & Friends tried to bow out, but the audience was desperate 
for yet another encore or two, cheering and whistling and stamping.  

Backstage, Melly, Pokey and Lissandra saw that Chrome Pie were standing 
ready to go onstage.  They really needed to stop now. "We've done all our 
original stuff," Pokey said with a shrug, "what more do we have?" 

Adam, who was still high on haka, called to Scott Richter, "Exit strategy: 
I’ll do a short vocal solo so our band can sneak off stage, then I’ll bolt, 
okay?" Scott laughed and nodded, so Adam started to do a solo without 
his guitar.

He did his oldest trick: the scat-singing one-squatch band.  He mouthed the 
instruments, guitars and flutes, Spanish rhythm.  It was Malagueña Salerosa, 
as he had once performed in the underground chamber of Aket, to the 
amazement of all who heard it (being Sasquatches: now that's REAL insider 
information!).  It worked this time too, if an audience stunned into silence is 
any indication.  The rest of the band got to make their exit, as planned.

The now-famous surprise ending occurred as Adam began the second 
and final verse, planning to wind it up and slip offstage with the rest of his 
band.  But Miguel deSanto, Chrome Pie’s fiery latino lead guitarist, simply 
couldn’t hold himself back and-- completely spontaneously --ran out onstage 
with his electric guitar and began to accompany Adam’s singing with a 
barrage of incredible Spanish riffs.  They sounded amazingly good together, 
even though they had never rehearsed this, and the audience became even 
more frenzied.  Out of their seats.  Adam was surprised, but went with it, 
repeating the first verse, then they both shut it down in perfect sync and 
started laughing.  That's when Scott Richter came out to Adam on stage 
and they agreed to do a jam after Chrome Pie's set.



Of course, you can always BUY the CD "Squatch & Friends Live" to experience 
that concert yourself.  Or the double DVD, soon to be released.