Chapter Nineteen:     Doing Disney World

VARIOUS reporting events of Monday through Friday, July 13 - 17

Gnarly g'day to ya, mates, Old Man Ewan here to welcome you to Orlando, Florida, which for this band on concert tour means bloody Disney World, of course. We arrived on time at noon today and were processed into place, assigned parking slots, shown the way to the stage that is ours for the next five days and played our first Disney performance at 4 o'clock Eastern Standard Time.

I think most of us were dreading this gig just about as much as we were looking forward to maybe having some good old-fashioned family-type fun, but knowing it was going to be a lot of hard work. We'll be doing three concerts a day for five days in a row. But the money is good and none of us have ever been here before, so it offers a welcome change of pace after the monotomy of our endless tour wherein all those bloomin' cities blend into one after a bloody nother.

We have a special deal with these concerts, as pre-arranged by S&F's manager, Si Bintzen. We'll be playing our music at the America Gardens Theater in the World Showcase of the Epcot area, which is supposed to be the most "grown-up" part of Disney World. I bloody hope so, wouldn't wanna hafta put up with no bloody brats.

Speaking of youngsters, we've suddenly got three of them amongst our rank and file while we're here in kiddieland, of Jap variety, siblings of lovely Miss Maki Yoshido, Pokey Snowchild's much better half. The S&F bus mob picked them up from Orlando International Airport on their way to here from Atlanta this morning. They seem well-behaved so far, but we'll see, won't we?

Normally our concert audiences are young adults, throw in some old hippies, sure, but generally not young children. But here the crowds are more than half kids, --I mean we're in bloody Micky Mouse Land in the middle of summer vacation, whaddya expect? --there's just thousands of the little buggers. Not that I've got anything against cute little kiddies, but they are a different kind of audience. Marching to the beat of a different drummer and all that.

I've observed how our younger audiences connect with our Bigfoot performers-- especially when our two lovely squatch birds, Magga and Masnia, do their act-- hell, you've seen how all those pre-teen shielas just have to sing and dance along with them, much like (Taylor) Swifties tend to do. But when boys hear Adam sing, it's like they experience something we bloody grown-ups don't. I mean, they don't usually sing and dance, but they seem to listen harder, go into trances, kinda primal-like. Like he puts a spell upon them.

Our America Gardens music venue is a nice roomy outdoor amphiteater seating about 1800 sets of arse per show. The weather is ideal -- for me, being an Aussie from Perth-- although some of the gang are complaining about excessive heat, literal snowflakes that they be. Better hot than cold and than rainy, I say. Not that anybody is expecting rain, but it happens every now and then, I assume. Also hurricanes, I hear, on and off. But hopefully not within the next 5 bloody days, please and thank you mate.

We started with an interview upon arrival, to be taped and viewed over the closed-circuit channel to all the shops and bars and hotel rooms in the Disney World complex-- which is bloody huge, mate. Our job here will be to perform 45-minute long concerts at 4:00, 6:00, and 8:00 pm for the next five days. For our free time in between we were issued day passes to explore and enjoy some of the various rides and entertainments-- which would have been quite a dear penny for all 20 of us to fork out.

But we do have to pay for our own bloody food, found at the various restaurants and snack bars scattered about the grounds. I'm told there are no grocery stores here in the park, so it's a mite tricky to throw a barbie in camp unless we've brought supplies with us. Which we didn't. Of course we could just drive to a super market in Orlando, we're not in bloody prison here. Although our convoy is nicely parked together at present and we don't want to get too spread out.

However, this is not intended to be a luxurious and effortless vacation in one of the countless hotels with swimming pools and room service. We're camping in the big RV park, living in our own busses, which is fine. We do have access to a swimming pool, kitchen and toilets for staff and migrant entertainers like ourselves, although it is about a mile away from our campsite. Easy walking distance, if we don't want to wait for the shuttlebus every half hour.

But it's bloody HOT here in Florida so we'll definitely be hanging out by a pool when possible. Personally, I prefer a real beach, sand and sea, but it's about 70 miles to the Atlanic Ocean from here and we'll be heading to Miami Beach after this, so I can just be patient.

We were contacted upon arrival today by a Disney PR agent who wanted to produce a longer video documentary for the various franchise outlets to streaming TV: bigfoot band on the road, coming to different cities every week, thrilling adventures happening to them everywhere they go. We were not interested, it would be in competition with our own intended documentary already well into production. The agent shrugged and said, "That's okay, we'll just make up our own character, Sammy Sasquatch, and copyright the whole concept." I informed the agent: "Twenty years ago my adoptive human parents named me Adam Leroy Forest precisely so that I wouldn't be called by some stupid name like Sammy Sasquatch.

"Yes, we read that in the AooE document, but so what? Copyright-wise that name is still up for grabs."

"Actually, not really: an educational channel in Nova Scotia has used that name a few years back, not that it made a big commercial impact on anything. Sorry."

"Okay, so Benny Bigfoot, then. Who cares?"

"Exactly," Adam assured the agent, "You´ll end up doing whatever you want, but I doubt that we'd be involved with it anyway. Our lives are exciting enough without making up some phoney made-for-TV adventures. We've already got enough video coverage to make a 3-part TV series and we're considering offers from Netflix, Hulu and Amazon."

Those Disney PR folk had considered using the AooE document as a starting point, but became concerned about all the erotica that would have to be edited out: no kha-rats happening in the Disney version, thank you. And Adam's "four wives" would have to be demoted to "some rather good and proper traveling friends". They'd also prefer to have everyone be innocent clean-living high school students rather than liberated young adults with exciting sex lives.

"Yeah, well, fuck that," said Benny Joe, "we done our school duties and we ain't going back!"

We've had to rearrange our normal concert repertoire a bit for the Disney World presentations, considering special show routines and regulations required for a family-oriented theme park. Three shows a day, 45 minutes each, about 15 songs per set.

Devoted fans might want to see all three shows, since they'd be spending a whole day in Disney World anyway, so we strived to make three different song sets. That's 45 songs per day, which is no strain for us. Our normal concerts usually go about ninety minutes and maybe another half hour of encores if we're really into it, featuring at least 30-40 songs, mostly our own original stuff, plus a few popular standards thrown in. But we've got a play list of about 90 well-rehearsed songs we're ready to pull off at any time, so we've easily got enough fresh materiel to get us through three shows a day. And for the next four days we just repeat those same three sets.

Because it's a family-oriented show with lots of younger kids in the audience we have to make sure that our two squatch chicks get to do their special song & dance routine, for at least 5 minutes in each set, or we'll have hordes of dangerously disappointed pre-and-teen-age girls on the rampage, and nobody wants that.

We also have our own set of teen-agers up on stage as part of the show, Reiko and Kumi are Maki's very cute younger sisters, here to experience the rock & roll lifestyle for a few days. They're already singing background chorus with us and they ain't half bad, evidently being karoake champs back home in Seattle. There's also a little brother, Taki, but he's only 11 and isn't quite ready to join the band yet, but he likes to infiltrate the audience and cheer for us, whipping up some frenzy. Actually, I think the kid's got a future in marketing.

Because of all those young'ns, swearing is frowned upon here in the Disney version of the universe. Many of our good old Chrome Pie funny songs are a little too cheeky (pornographic) for this venue so we'll have to edit some of them out, but all 20 + of Adam's songs are accepable to any audience (he's such a good boy), and our science fiction songs are always ready to launch. Ahead warp factor four!

So we aren't doing a lot more actual WORK than we usually do, except that it is kind of a hassle for us to physically show up on stage, ON TIME, three times a day, five days in a row. Starting on time is always a challenging demand for each and every concert, since sometimes things can go wrong, and here we've got to do it 15 times in succession without fail.

But then, it looks like it's going to be fun to spend a week in Disney World, with us being part of the action. We'll see.

MEL: Our first day, Monday, we spent doing our three concerts, finding a restaurant we could agree on and wandering around like dazzled tourists at the wonder of it all, Addy, Liss, Magga, Masnia and me. Maki had her little brother and sisters visiting from Mercer Island/Seattle, so Pokey was duty bound to go off with them in tow.

We started by taking a ride on the DW Railroad, from Main Street to a 20-minute overview of the entire park, to orient ourselves as to where we were and where to go later. It's pretty mind-boggling, there's just so much of it. We'll be here 5 days, but that might not be enough to try everything what with the long waiting lines between rides.

No matter what you think about the Disneyfication of reality, you've got to admit that this place is a marvel of design brlliance and intelligent organization. But the down side of being here exactly in the middle of summer vacation time is the extra long lines we have to wait in. We'd stand over an hour to get onto a ride that might take only 3.7 minutes. And since we had to be onstage ourselves every other hour in the early evening (4:00 6:00 8:00), we could only go on rides in the morning or late evening.

LISS: Yeah, and it was rilly fun to be taking it in with our squatchettes, they were like two little kids in extra-large format, baffled by the absurdity of it all, and yet absolutely enthusiastic about being there. Even Magga, who tends to be rilly critical of NokhSo lifestyle and culture. Both she and Masnia were giggling and skipping from one attraction to the next, enjoying it completely. Normally Nokhons are so quiet, moving soundlessly through the woods, never making noise like loud and hilrious laughter, they just titter. But this time they were laughing so much and so hard that we had to join in.

MEL: Yeah-- tee hee -- and later on we also prowled around with Maki and her visiting siblings, three real live American kids (even though they looked more like inscrutible orientals), who acted quite dignified at first, but quickly got infected by our laughing squatchettes and they all ended up rolling around helplessly.

LISS: We took in the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular, night version, and it was a blast. The stunt men were obviuously professionals, but I was afraid for them lotsa times.

Okay, I'll admit it: this Disney World place is rilly fun, even for a die-hard counter-culture snob like me!

MEL: That live show is based upon the first IJ movie, Raiders of the Lost Arc and the stunts we all know so well: fights, jumps, explosions, flames, some with professional Hollywood stunt men reenacting them in live person, others with amateurs (tourists) plucked from the audience trying to do what Indy does in the movie. Avoid that big rolling ball, drop off a building, crashing through glass, seemingly dangerous stuff. Truly exciting, at least we were all saying "Wow!" and "Dj'iess!" a lot.

LISS: Of course, there's also a lot of corny "family entertainment" going on here, as to be expected, being in the Disney universe. We moved on to see a show of dancers in various national costumes, swirling dresses and high-hopping dance steps.

Some people may find that kinda tedious, but not our squatch chicks, they wanted to join in. Especially when Minnie Mouse and Goofy came onstage. But they were impatiently waiting for the naked girls to do pole-dancing, which wasn't about to happen in that family-friendly show (there would be heart attacks!), and they didn't rilly understand any other kind of dancing, so they eventually lost interest.

Howeverness, we'd gone along with them, just to explain what we could to our sistas, y'know, even tho we were calling it corny. But when you're a pro-performer yourself (like me) you rilly can't help but be aware of how much work and timing and practice it takes to put on any kind of music and dancing show. Those folk dancers were rilly good, certainly way more professional than any of us!

MEL: Hey, I think we're pretty professional by now! As musicians, anyway.

LISS: Rilly? Okay, maybe I guess. Just not at square dancing, cause we're not squares.

Shit man, it was so fucking hot again today, even more than yesterday, so at about 10:00 in the way-too-early morning Marcie and I took a shuttle bus to find the nearest swimming pool to relax in the water until our first concert of the day at 2pm.

What were we thinking? A hundred degrees of Florida sunshine plus a hundred screaming kids ain't relaxing. Okay, normally I don't exactly HATE kids but there is a limit to how much and how many I can take all at once and today was waaaay over the limit. It was like a nuclear blast test. So we had to cut it short and go somewhere else. We figured: get drunk!

We're based in Epcot park so we looked for the best bar in the area, one with air conditioning. Being a Disney establishment, you'd think alcohol could be tricky to find, but this is first and foremost a tourist town, there are lots of bars.

Rose & Crown is like an English pub and is very popular, right on the Epcot main street, so we started there. I found it on Internet with my smart phone, and a list of 22 best bars in the whole park, so I figured we'd go on a Disney pub crawl.

Admitted, I've always been a bit of a drinker and you could say the same about Marcie-- we're both pretty famous for being irresponsibly inebriated at every chance we got, which means almost always. A lot, anyway. Altho now we suddenly realized that niether of us had gotten drunk ever since we became a couple at that shyøma-powered sex orgy a few weeks ago.

There hadn't been any deliberate decision on our part to not drink so much, it just hadn't come up. We were too busy having lots of sex. I mean, we were waaay in love, that's all.

But now we were in a crowded bar and couldn't get away with fucking on a tabletop right then, so we started drinking instead. I had a beer, Marcie had a cocktail, sip sip, went down easy. When my beer was gone I ordered another round for us both, force of habit, y'know. Once I get started I usually need at least 4-5 more beers, Marcie too, being a hard-drinking hard-trucking momma.

But after the first thirst-quencher both of us just stared at our glasses for a while.

"Aren't you going to drink that?" Marcie asked me.

"Yeah, sure," I said, "eventually, I guess. No hurry. How about you?"

She shrugged, studying her cocktail and said, "I don't really need more right now."

I shrugged too, "That's weird."

"Yeah, it IS weird," she agreed.

That we seem to agree on almost everything these days is actually FUCKING weird. We'd always been more or less frenemies before, so often deliberately mean to each other, teasing and downright insulting. It was just for fun I guess, but now I can't even imagine deliberately hurting her feelings. Now we have really nice sex instead.

"I guess we better drink up," I said, "we'll have to pay for them anyway," .

That motivated us, so we sipped our drinks for awhile, each managing to swallow about half a glass. Then that was it; couldn't drink any more, neither of us.

As mentioned; weird.

So for maybe the first time ever, we walked away from our half-empty/full glasses and went wandering around the park for a while. In case you don't know it, Epcot is that area with all the international pavillions and Spaceship Earth, appealing to culturally wise scientific minds-- like mine --rather than to childish kids.

Disney World is an enjoyable venue for most of us; our concerts are really well received here and there's a lot of nifty restaurants and bars and swimming pools to hang out in between our three daily gigs. As for the rides and various attractions, I'm not especially interested in most of them since they're pretty much for kids. Besides which I've been to California's Disneyland so many times when I was myself a kid that there's almost nothing new here for me to experience. But I‫do enjoy being an adult whose job is to entertain the kids, at least for this week. We-- Chrome Squatch --are now doing a kid's version of our typical concerts, cutting out most of our raunchiest songs (usually mine), and that's okay. But I'm glad it's just for this week while we're here; I like doing my dirty songs.

And there is one new Disney ride I actually DO dig: Test Track, where you design your own super car and get to do a speed test run. You know me-- race car enthusiast, etc --and this is the "fastest" ride in all of Disney World (over 60 mph!), therefore the most fun for me.

Although almost right next door is Cosmic Rewind, the Guardains of the Galaxy space-ride featuring the world's longest indoor roller coaster and a quick tour of our galaxy, offering the heady experience of 2.5 G acceleration, which is kinda awesome. Cool retro-rock music too. I'll have to bring Anne, Honey and Willi here some day... although the LA-Disneyland location would be a lot more convenient for me, since I live only 5 miles away from Anaheim.

What a strange place this "theme park" is! I don't understand it, but I like it better than the "real" cities. This "city" is populated by "personalities" who do not and have never actually existed-- the big mouse, the quarrelsome duck --but are evidently well-known characters to NokhSos anyway. Talking animals, people who can fly, impossible architecture, pretend dinosaurs from pre-histrory, addictions to semi-poisonous foods all promoted and served to eat in large portions, everything about it defies all logic.

Dadamet has explained the concept of fiction to me, but I'm still not sure that I get it. "It's fantasy and entertainment," he says, "neither history nor reality." But all these NokhSo tourist-folk seem to be taking all this very literally.

Dadamet says it has something to do with being able to understand word-symbols, originally presented in "books " but now more often found in those "digital screens" made of skesk. Inscriptions and visuals are often used to generate impossible concepts, like spaceships and super heroes. But also used for actual historical documentation, requiring the reader to decide any kind of validity, which can be confusing. To me, anyway.

Dadamet says that we Nokhons do the same thing with characters we know from the Atli. Such as the thief Kayiin, who becomes the holy Speaker of Atli, Da'at-hat, who when finished speaking reverts to being that thief again and vanishes to who-. Like Cain in the NokhSo Bible, or so the story goes. But if Atli is a true vision or a clever swindle, we never really learn. It may be what Dadamet calls "fiction".

It seems that fiction --which is to say LIES-- garners just as much authority and respect as truth among NokhSos. There are famous ancient scribes, such as one they call Mister Shakespeare, who appear to be worshipped just as much as their Bible because of the cleverly constructed lies he tells. They are a strange breed, those NokhSos.

As for this "theme park", I best liked the "petting zoo" with all the nice animals, even tho it was so contaminated by skesk. Some of the animals are real, but others are machine imitations. I'm used to real dogs and cats and horses at the Hacienda, but some of the real animals here are not used to a Nokhon like me. Of course, I'm much larger than those small NokhSo children who usually pet them.

Some of the horses and funny big-bellied pigs were terrified of me until I calmed them with that little psychic nudge we Sha-haka-ma use on aggressive dogs or ferocious bears we meet in the woods. Then they will usually become friendly enough.

The NokhSos become friendly too, while we stand "in lines" waiting for our turn to come up on the rides. I don't mind the wait, it allows me to enjoy observing them . They look at me too, see that I am a Nokhon, so we start to talk. My English language is not perfect, like Masnia's, but is improving. But I best like talking to NokhSos from other-language lands, because they talk English like me-- slower, clumsily, often mispronounced, but eventually understandable if we try hard enough. Sometimes we laugh.

I have also enjoyed the company of NokhSo children. Mostly with Maki's sisters and brother, whom she had arranged to spend this time with us and become better aquainted, because their biological father had kept them apart for some reason. I don't really understand NokhSo traditions concerning fathers, we Nokhons only know our mothers.

It was interesting to see Maki with her younger siblings, that too would be unusul among Nokhons, for there are so few children among us due to our absolute population control. They look like three copies of Maki; the same kind of slanted eyes, pale white skin, slender bodies and blackest hair. Dadamet calls them "Japanese", a different race of NokhSo, as are also those of black or brown skin. There are so many races, I can see samples of most of them in this park, concentrated here. We Nokhons know of only one race of our kind and we only speak one language: Nokhontli, as we learn it all over the planet from the oral tradition of Atli.

And here in this Disney park are so MANY NokhSo children. Innocently playing, ra, riding the rides, learning their skeskculture, eating the poisonous food. Most of them are nice and cute, but the incalculably irresponsible number of them makes me fear for the future of our planet.

There 's a Mariachi group called Los Hermanos Magnificos playing at the Frontera Cochina, half-hour five times a day. I stopped to check them out and recognized an old high school buddy from Fresno, Manuelo Arciano, who was playing the guitarón. And of course he had to tell his band just who I was-- child prodigy, once a flamenco god, all that-- and so a fuss was made. I loved it, although I did ask them to keep my identity secret fom the public. Someone loaned me a Spanish guitar so that I could jam with the group for a couple of rancheros. Nobody recognized me; just another chulo. Then I had to rush over to the Epcot stage, where we --the Golden Squatch-- was to play our 16:00 pm concert, magically shifting back into my American guy rock star identity and wailing on the electric guitar.

Manuelo came along to check us out. He knew who we were, naturalmente, he'd followed my career since high school, you know; least likely to succeed and all that. So I invited him over to our bus, since he wanted to meet some Bigfeet. And Scott Richter, Charlie Madison, etc. Especially "etc", meaning all our girls. He'd followed their careers as well.

I almost had to laugh, knowing what would happen next. As it does to every guy who meets those babes: you can easily fall in love with any of them, but you can't choose which one because all the others are just too fucking hot. And sure enough, Manuelo was hot to score, but couldn't even come close to deciding who.

But I didn't laugh because I knew just how desperate these girls can make a guy. Nor did I get jealous or pissed off because if this macho dude was out to make a macho move on my girl(s), I could only sympathize. Because I am literally scoring them ALL and am still completely unable to choose just one!

I saw the Guardains of the Galaxy show, Spaceship Earth, Project Tomorrow, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, etc-- again and again, tanks to the theme park day passes that our managers had arranged for us. Oh yeah, and the Avatar ride on a banshee, flying over Pandora! There are 173 different rides here, this place is neat-o keen!

Like getting drinks in Olga's Cantina, found on Glaxy's Edge nearby where the Millenium Falcon is docked, y' know, in the town of Mos Eisley on the planet Tatooine, where Luke grew up. My favorite coctail is the Bespin Fizz (alcoholic, even tho it's Disney). Then I go down the streets of Mos Espa to Tatooine Traders and maybe buy some Star Wars merch. As if I really need more, but I'm here and there it is...

I just had to pilot the Milennium Falcon on the Smuggler's Run ride, natch, so I did, about five times. That famous front-screen visual of jumping into hyperspace, stars flashing into infinite perspective stripes, gets me every time. But it's not all silly fantasy. For example, Soarin is a virtual roller coaster ride around the world. Even our Bigfeet can go on that ride, altho normally they're too big and heavy to fit into a seat on a carnival ride, but those seats are extra big and sturdy, plus there's no physical stress of actual motion throwing Adam's 500-pound weight side to side, it's all just audio-visual trickery.

The Illuminations light show was also spectacular, which we viewed from the Mexican cantina, making it extra spectacular when served with chimichanga and cervezas.

And then there's our very own Chrome Squatch concerts. We are a hit, get lots of fans singing our songs along with us, people of all ages, and all nationalities. Well it IS a tourist attraction for foreigners visiting the USA, but we're surprised that so many non-English speakers even know who we are. Although I guess the whole world knows about Adam, once as "The Baby Bigfoot", now as the "Singing Sasquatch".

Our band is also especially popular among all those sweet young things who dig our wonderful squatchettes, Magga and Masnia (the one I'm boinking).

Although some of those youngsters get confused when they see Adam walking about, thinking he's from the Beauty and the Beast franchise. Also: Melly gets taken for Anna from Frozen a lot (why? she never wears braids) when we go walking around the theme park, along with Mickey and Goofy.

Me? I usually get mistaken for some random nerd.

I invited my sisters, Kumi and Reiko (15 &18 yo) and my little brother Taki (11), to come and visit us here at Disney World. My sisters have each spent a school year as exchange students in Japan, just like me, but otherwise have never been out of Washington state, so they were thrilled to hop on a jet plane and fly directly from Sea-Tac to Orlando International Airport in Florida, all expenses paid by me.

Pokey offered to pay half, but we're all earning so much money on this tour that it doesn't even matter. Which I hear impressed my father, who can't complain about us being penniless rock & roll bums any more, although he's been much more tolerant of our lifestyle ever since my cousin Ishumi's wedding a couple months ago, when he and Pokey finally had it out. In a good way, for a change. Way to go, my favorite Poker.

We picked them up from the Orlando airport on Tuesday morning and have just delivered them back, tonight on our way to Miami after our final Disney World concert (@ 8:00 pm Friday). So they've had four full days to wallow in all that Disneyness with us. It's been fun and I've had really great contact with Reiko and Kumi, after all those years of barely talking to each other because I was the black sheep of the family. They seem to look up to me now, their own personal rock star idol. We even let them join in a concert as background singers along with me and Magga and Masnia. That went well since they already knew all the words to our songs. They go to karaoke parties all the time, so they can actually sing okay.

None of those kids had ever been to any Disney theme park before and they were just the right ages to enjoy it. I had intended to get them a hotel room to share, but they ever so much wanted to camp in our tour bus along with all us real-live rock'n'rollers on the road (even though we'd just be parked in Disney World the whole time). Which would probably mean no private (sex) life for all of us in the band for those four days, but we'd discussed it with the whole gang and all agreed that we could pretend to not be rabid fornicators for just that little while. We all liked the idea of having some kids along with us while we were here in this kiddie paradise anyway.

This came to pass because I've been in Skype contact with my sisters ever since our cousin Ishumi's wedding, when we all decided to be family again, after years of silence and separation, mostly because of our father's negativity about-- well, about everything: especially Pokey, my redskin gaijin boyfriend, but also me consorting with subhuman Bigfoot monsters, then there was his own hatred of racist America, his job, saving face --but all that seems to be better now, so I'll try to give grumpy old Soichi Yoshido-San a break.

Anyway, inviting my younger siblings to Disney World seemed like a good way to kickstart reestablishing our relationships. I could have afforded to invite my parents too, but don't seem to be quite ready for that yet. Inviting my little brother Taki along for the ride was compromise enough-- he can still be such a nasty little brat. Although he has been surprisingly tolerable this time.

Mostly because they all think of Adam as a GOD, so we were all getting a whole bunch of respect from those cute little sisters. Even me, their evil black sheep older sister.

But hey, now that the kids are gone home, Pokey and I can have a sex life again. I know he's been suffering from what he calls "poontang withdrawl". Actually so have I and maybe all of us in the S&F bus; no one's had ANY privacy for the last five days.

Maybe we should have a little orgy tonight, that would be fun. We don't have to wait for a kha-rat. Although we do have to be in Miami by noon tomorrow and somebody has to drive. Pokey and me I think, hmmm. Well, so much for an orgy, but we can still get laid if we hurry.

Hi. This is Don Tennison once again, 25 yo WASP male, Chrome Pie's sound guy. Last time I wrote in this chronicle (chapter 16) I was complaining about my semi-unrequited love affair with Sunny (Grace Nielson), whom I'd decided was the girl I most wanted to have lots of sex with, but was doing without anyone at all until she'd finally deliver.

Well, time for a good news update: Sunny and I are now fucking like rabbits. I'll bet you were worried that we might not be, but now you can relax. Wish I could.

Instead I now worry about how long this affair can last. We all know we're heading for another kha-rat orgy at the end of this month. That sounds like fun-- or will it set everything back to zero? The first kha-rat hit Sunny pretty hard emotionally, said she felt like a nymphomaniac and didn't like it.

I've seen just how extremely a kha-rat can affect a relationship. Case in point; Benny Joe and Marcie. The Asshole Whoremonger and the Militant Lesbian-- now all lovey-dovey and sweetly dedicated to one another, after years of having been absolutely nasty to each other, often bordering on cruelty. "Weird" is the word going around.

Even weirder is that now Sunny and I have been spending large chunks of our free time with them. Maybe it's because they are a couple who seem to be deeply in love, like we-- or at least, I --want to be. I say weird because neither Sunny nor I have ever really liked either one of them before-- they were always so cynical and critical, bitterly negative about anything reeking of affection or love. But now the've changed their attitudes 180 degrees, ever since that kha-rat, and are actually pleasant to be around.

I mean, I've known BJ for years and have always thought of him as a good drummer but not as a good person, and certainly never a good friend. He was almost always at odds with someone in the band, either as trouble-maker or an embarrassment. And Marcie wasn't much better; tough dyke with a chip on her shoulder for any man who got in her way.

So we're talking about two pretty extreme changes of heart here. But is it real or just a passing fancy? I dunno, but I can't help feeling guilty for doubting their dedication, or Sunny's. And in the meanwhile I'm having lots of fun with them.

Being here in Disney World, that means we often went on rides together. We all agreed that "Splash Mountain" is the very best ride, in fact we seem to agree on everything. "Tower of Terror" and "Space Mountain", "Star Wars/Rise of the Resistance & Millennium Falcon", the "Avatar" ride, we took them all on as a happy foursome (no, not swapping).

Another thing --and this affected me as much as the other three-- we had suddenly stopped drinking so much alcohol. Oh, we still had an occasiuonal beer or wine along with dinner, but that's it. Ever since the kha-rat none of us are deliberately getting drunk any more. And that seems to include all of us in the whole convoy. I've asked around: Scott, Charlie, Gene, Osmond, even our Grand Old Aussi Ewan; we're all drinking less. But could that also be just because we've been hanging out in Disney World?

Of course, the kha-rat is an acient Bigfoot custom and they don't drink alcohol-- not even Adam, who was raised as an American guy. Squatches have their own intoxicants, like khos, but are totally disinterested in alcohol and what it does to you. Unlike the Native American Indians-- alcohol fucks them over bad, according to Pokey.

Well, we'll be moving on to Miami now, so I guess we'll see if things get back to normal, one way or another. Maybe Sunny will finally admit that she loves me. Oh well, as long as she keeps having sex with me I'll be okay.

Okay. we're done here. Five full days of Micky Mouse Life was fun, but also enough that we'll all be glad to move on to the next venue in Miami Beach tomorrow. Maybe except for Freddy; he'd gladly live inside a comic book.

Hey, I should talk, I've been doing just fine here.

There's a seemingly forgotten teepee village alongside the Magic Kingdom tracks, where animatronic indians seem to be operating non-stop, for some funny reason, robot zombie redskins. Dressed in traditional tribal rags, the squaws preparing food and the braves holding watch perched on animatronic horsebacks.

I had to check it out, so we got permission to visit it (actually, it was Adam who got permission because he's the real celebrity). It was kinda scarey, wandering around in the dark, among those robot ghosts. Spooky movie materiel?

The Disney Corporation made their first animatronics park back in the 1960s, they presented native Americans as either good or bad indians with all the racial biases of that time and they've had to clean up their act as those biases were outdated year after year. My first encounter with Disney Indians was in the Peter Pan movie, wise men in the smoking tent.

Actually, I was never personally offended by the Disney version of us redskins. Maybe they were drawn with big noses, but then so were Italians and Greeks, like in Lady and the Tramp. Everybody knows what a disaster the coming of the Fucking White Landgrabbers was to the Native Americans, it's pretty much impossible to present that history as fun or family entertainment, which is maybe why the ride is abandoned.

We were 600 distinct tribes at the time Europeans came to America-- civilizations, actually --each tribe with their own language and culture. All pretty much fucking destroyed now except for those of us who have been assimilated, like me.

So I can't help but compare that history to the Bigfoot & Human situation and wonder if there will one day come another revolution. Because I've come to learn that the Nokhontli have terminated a bunch of prehistorical high-tech civilizations-- yeah, like Atlantis-- in order to save the entire planet from ecological barbarians. Just saying.

Okay we got 230 miles, about a 3½ hour drive to Miami Beach ahead of us. Supposed to be there by 2:00 pm today, it's now 6:00 Saturday morning. Guess we'd better move out. Wagons ho!

But first, I just wanna thank Maki for arranging that nice little ORGY for our last night here in Disney World. I think everyone appreciated it and I hope Mickey Mouse didn't mind.