Chrome Squatch Concert Tour USA
KHA-RAT notations from Wednesday, July 1 to Saturday, July 4
We're camping in the Shawnee National Forest in the state of Illinois, taking a break from our concert tour to participate in a new variation of a kha-rat: this time with mostly humans instead of Nokhons. Up to now we S&F folk have always gone off and hidden somewhere to protect our fellow band members from the irresistible aphrodisiac effects of shyøma, but this time we are including them in the festivities and hoping they can handle it without freaking out.
Most of them are more than eager to try shyøma, having read about it in the AooE document. Over the last week all of those who had been afraid to try have changed their minds and now want to participate. I think the guys mostly just want to have sex with us five S&F chicks, but that's okay, we'll finally get to bone some rock stars ourselves. Scott Richter and Charlie Madison have always been on my list.
Right now those Chrome Pie folks are either out enjoying the wonders of sunshine and nature or swilling beer in a dark dingy bar somewhere in one of the local towns, or just being tourists for a day. Or whatever entertainment they can find to kill time until they come here to join us before sunset tomorrow evening. When the Sun sinks in the West and the Full Moon rises in the East, the cosmic clockwork in perfect sync, that's when the kha-rat can begin.
We're here by ourselves because Magga and Masnia should start flowing with shyøma any time today and it'll be easier on our "human" friends if they don't have to spend a whole extra day suffering the pangs of outrageous horniness without relief. Magga and Masnia always obey the rules of kha-rat because... well, that's how they grew up.
So they abstain from sex for the first half of their shyøma flow-- ideally applying their own highly agitated sexual energy to effect magic -- until sunset and rising of the Full Moon, when everybody can go ahead and fuck. Since the two Nokhon females are providing all the shyøma, they'll run the kha-rat under their premises.
Of course, we human females can't produce shyøma ourselves and should therefore not be technically required to endure those 24 hours of intense sexual frustration-- but we need some ripe female Nokhons nearby to have this experience at all, and it would be pretty rude of us to violate their tradition while hitching a thrill-ride on their shyøma, wouldn't it?
But Liss, Maki and I, are also learning the magic of women's ways, so we'll willingly endure it, to immerse ourselves in the discipline of magic along with our Nokhon sisters. We couldn't invite Sunny or Bunny or Marcie along for that part of the ceremony because a first kha-rat is hard enough on body and soul. They wouldn't be ready-- and maybe not even willing -- to take on that challenge yet.
Our beloved guys, Addy and Pokey and Miguel, could go take a walk and avoid all the frustration of being so horny for two days, but they too are working on music as magic-- as do all serious musicians-- so they too stick it out. Usually.
We drove out from Saint Louis yesterday, all of 170 miles to visit Superman's home town Metropolis. Mainly because Freddy Sessions, our stage-lighting guy and totally dedicated comic book nerd, was begging us to stop there and we figured "Why Not?" It was in the right direction anyway, since we had Googled Shawnee National Forest to be our best bet for a potential kha-rat hideout. We spent half a day with Superman and Batman, then we S&Fers split off from the group and moved on to find a good campsite in the national forest not many miles away.
But first we had to stop at a local supermarket to buy supplies. A LOT of food and drinks, enough for 20 people over 5 days, since there would most likely be no shopping where we'd be going (and there isn't). Beer and wine, sparkling water; burgers, steaks and chicken, hot dogs to barbeque for our rapacious carnivores: veggies for our squatches who don't eat meat; pies and cookies and chocolates for our sweet-stuff addicts (like Addy)(okay, and like me).
Then we drove into the National Forest and started looking for an orgy-gorge. It can be pretty difficult to find a usable place off the grid, but we were scientific about it. Gene, our video and cameraman, has this neat little remote-controlled drone with camera mounted, which he uses for aerial and flying freeway shots. He loaned it to us, since Pokey happens to be pretty handy with it too. Pokey sent it flying around above the treetops to find an off-road clearing we could somehow get to with the bus. Without getting stuck, which was important.
It was tricky to find a place off-road that could fit three busses and a semi-truck without being visible from a distance, since we needed to hide for five days without curious visitors dropping in on us to chat and getting hit by shyøma. It took Pokey two hours to find this place, even with the drone.
Tomorrow, when our friends show up, we'll park our whole convoy here in a circle, like the old Conestoga wagons in the Wild West, to form a protective perimeter. Not against savage Indians or abominal Bigfoots, just curious passersby. Now we've been here overnight to noon and nobody's passed by yet, so we're thinking it's good.
Just to make extra-sure people stay away, we put up a sign suggesting that the good old pandemic might be back again:
Of course, Addy couldn't have posted a lie like that, so Miguel did it.
And here we are; we'll see what happens. Everyone coming here is on a their-own-free-will basis, they all want to try this with us (mainly for the sex) and Addy feels that it has to happen sometime.
But he's nervous about it, saying: "I've been insisting that we need to change the world with shyøma, but without knowing how your average human is going to react to it. For some, the impact of such overwhelming desire may just be too much to handle. And absolutely free group sex will be morally unacceptable for many. Some folk could become addicted to the sex, but which can only happen during a full moon, perhaps causing some kind of withdrawl psychosis..."
"So why are you risking this with our whole band if you're so unsure?" I had to ask.
He shrugged, saying, "Because my instructions are to introduce my NokhSo friends to Nokhon culture. These are my friends. What's a squatch to do?"
Addy and I have already had so many discussions about where those Spirit Vision instructions are coming from: God? Satan? Addy's own subconscious? The planet itself? And we always end up with too many potential answers to decide on any one. Except that his Vision keeps on coming true with impeccable consistency, so it should be valid.
Oops, I just got the first whiff of shyøma! Must be Masnia's, she always flows earliest. It'll take about a day and a half for the Moon to be perfectly full and then the party can begin.
When folks get here tomorrow I may just try to talk some of them into writing a little something for the document about their perception of a kha-rat. That could be interesting.
Well well, there's that smell. The shyøma is rilly cooking now. Get used to it, we'll be living with it about four days.
Even those of us who are more or less used to it still find it pretty tough to endure abstaining from sex for 2 days while our pussies are being turned inside-out by raw lust. But since our two Nokhon sisters, Magga and Masnia, are providing all the shyøma, we should respect their tradition-- it wouldn't be happening without them.
So I recommend that you try to endure, it'll increase the pay-off when the Full Moon arrives and we are all unleashed upon each other and get to fuck ourselves silly. Freakfoot talked about magic and I can only say: you'll see. Of course, I don't know how desperately you are feeling desire at present. Myself, I get laid a LOT, so I feel pretty relaxed fuck-wise.
All of us who know what's coming tend to charge-up a little before the kha-rat starts. We all make sure to get properly orgasmed just before the shyøma starts flowing, knowing there will go a couple of long, hard days (literally, for you guys) before relief happens. But that's easy for us in sexually satisfying relationships, not so much if you're single. It seems that most of the guys who've been touring with Chrome Pie have been depending upon random groupies to make them happy after a concert. Fun for the moment, I suppose, but not rilly dependable.
And while we are mentioning “satisfying”, you'll notice a paradox built into the shyøma-effect. You'll feel sexual ecstasy like never before: it's way hot-hot-hot. And you'll cum again and again, almost non-stop. Which sounds great-- and, wow, it is --but the erotic tension never ends, shyøma guarantees instant recharge, keeps you horny on and on, so it's a long way to any final resolution. Oh, you'll feel that snap of satisfaction when your orgasm hits, but you'll immediately want more, and you'll get more because we'll all be feeling that same unquenchable lasciviousness.
Rilly. Lasciviousness. Get ready for it.
POKEY reports at 3:45 pm Wednesday, 1st of July--
Man, this part of the kha-rat is always so heavy; being blasted by the smell of shyøma and suffering for two horny days with over-swollen cocks until we finally get to turn into werewolves under the Full Moon. I'd rather just zip into a sleeping bag with Maki and make non-stop love with her-- just her --until it's all over.
Yeah, I say that now, but I know I'll never be able to resist making deep love with Melly and Liss, or Masnia and Magga for some furry fun. And this time there's also the brand new Sunny & Bunny Show to be had. So I guess I'll stick it out.
Whenever we do this-- the uphill side of a kha-rat-- I'm inclined to consider the torment of such intense horniness is a result of my own addictive nature. It used to be alcohol, but now I guess it's Maki, since I want to have sex with her pretty much all the time anyway, even without shyøma. Lucky for me she feels the same way. But it's not just me: everybody's going through the same agony, even Adam and Magga, although they may seem to just be effortlessly shrugging it off.
Well, there is one easy way out: we males can always just get away from the shyøma for awhile; go for a walk, or even drive somewhere far enough away and do tourist things, like all the Chrome Pie folk are doing right now, then come back when it's just about Full Moon and jump right into a sea of pussies impatiently waiting for us to service them. But I have two problems with that. One, we're supposed to use this energy for personal magic, not avoid it. And two, Maki has to endure it because she actually IS learning magic-- women's ways --and I want to back her up, so I try to learn some magic too.
Ah, who am I kidding? I've always WANTED to learn magic; spirit dreams, the old shamanistic ways of my Salish ancestors, who have also had a rapport with the Sasquatches since long before white men showed up on the scene. It's just that it's hard to concentrate when you've been this horny for this long. Yeah, one whole day so far.
Maki and I gave Magga and Masnia a hand gathering those "little blue flowers" we'll need to hand out tomorrow so that all the shyøma virgins don't puke their guts out when the smell hits them for the first time. The flowers are not quite the same color here in Illinois State, but apparently close enough, according to Magga. Funny how I never noticed them anywhere before the first time I ate them, but now they seem to grow everywhere.
Another day of waiting until our guests show up for the party. Maybe I'll just go for that walk I mentioned. No, wait; Adam and Miguel are practicing guitars beside the bus, playing and singing a bunch of Mexican rancheros. I'll get my tom-toms and join them.
Adam's wounded hand seems to be perfectly healed now, 8 days after getting shot. Good thing, it was just a .22 caliber and not some big-bore cannon, like the first time he got shot. I'd say he was lucky, but it would be luckier to not get shot at all. At least his guitar playing seems to be back to normal.
"Okay, I think we're all gathered now. Welcome to the kha-rat, everybody. I believe you've all read the Document by now, so I shouldn't have to explain what a kha-rat is.
"Yep, the shyøma is flowing: you can smell it. It may seem to stink a bit, but your opinion of that will probably change as you become more accustomed to it. Then it will make you horny and you'll love it... and also love anybody of the opposite sex who happens to be near you. It's still rather faint so far-- we only have two Nokhon females with us --but will increase in power until Fullest Moon and by then it would be very hard to tolerate if we didn't give you these little blue flowers to ingest.
"That's an antidote, otherwise you'd get miserably sick-- vomiting, headache, blue balls --until you've finally developed an immunity to it, as have we in S&F due to regular exposure to shyøma. But that takes a while, maybe a couple of kha-rats."
Shirley Richter interrupted him with a pointed question: "What about STDs and unwanted pregnancies? Shouldn't the guys be wearing condoms?"
"Not to a kha-rat," Adam answered, "Nokhons don't have those problems. In fact, their females simply CAN'T get pregnant without some Sha-haka-ma procedure first. Nor can they transmit any viruses."
Anne Evans spoke up, "That's great for Nokhon women, but how about us everyday human types? As far as I know, I simply CAN get knocked up. I have 8 year-old proof at home."
"You won't, Magga and Masnia have already taken care of that. Don't bother asking me how: it's a deep dark secret that we incompetent males are not allowed to know."
The two women looked at each other, then shrugged and nodded. Adam never lies; explanation accepted.
Adam went on. "Now I can see that some of you are already feeling the aphrodisiac effect of shyøma: you're getting horny. So you're all hot to start enjoying somebody of the opposite sex right away, but it's a little bit too early. I won't say you may not, but whoever you are lusting for-- they may say "No" and you must respect that, just like in real life. If you can't control yourself, then Magga-- who is our lady shaman in charge of this event--will be required to enforce propriety. And she's a pretty strong lady. I'm only saying this because none of you know the rules.
But don't worry, in a while no one will be interested in saying anything but "Yes, please!" Still, the Nokhon tradition is to refrain from all sexual gratification until sunset, which is due to occur at 8:31 pm today, or in about an hour. You can hang on for that long, right?
"But Magga and Masnia have not had it so easy as have you new arrivals, they've been wallowing in this raging storm of unquenched desire for an entire day and a half now, intoxicated by their own shyøma. But the girls don't waste any of that time; they apply their accumulated sexual energy to work magic. As do Pokey, Mike and I. And I will teach you some of that magic, a little farther along, when we are deeper under the spell of each other.
"We are all musicians here, even the roadies in their own way, and music is our magic, I will show you how we can use the power inheritant in raw physical desire to create new manipulations of tones and melodies. Then, when it is time, we can all fuck each other's brains out for the next 2 days."
A cheer went up.
"Take note: because we have only Magga and Masnia exuding shyøma instead of 10-15 ripe Nokhon females at a typical kha-rat we'll need to stay fairly close to them and each other to get the fullest effect. If you can smell their musk, that's good enough; you'll probably find yourself more erotically aroused than ever before in your life.
"We'll also have to make other compromises for this kha-rat because we are mostly "humans" instead of Nokhons. For example, we have nice fluffy blankets for you to lie on the nice soft grass with, which any ruff-tuff he-squatch wouldn't bother with, but none of you are so lucky as to have nice fluffy hair all over your bodies and may as well be comfortable while you're getting cozy with each other's bare skin.
"Another slight deviation from a standard full moon celebration is thatNokhon males usually get into wrestling matches, just for fun. Guess I could take on ten of you at once to make it fair..." (nervous laughter)
"Okay, we might drop that... or maybe not, let's wait and see. But when I came to my first kha-rat I was scared they'd hurt me because I'd never had anyone my size to practice wrestling with. Plus we were all naked and sporting these jutting shyøma-erections, just like we're seeing here now and it was embrrassing to be clashing swords, so to speak." (genuine laughter)
"Nor do we have any psilocybin mushrooms because we couldn't find any here, not at this time of year. Ideally, none of us are transporting any drugs that can get our convoy in trouble with the law, but we have blended an herbal Bigfoot party favor called Khos, which is a mild stimulant somewhat stronger than caffeine-- and perfectly legal since the DEA has never heard of it.
"So enjoy the horniness for the next hour, mix together, flirt, arrange get-togethers with each other. But try to wait until the Full Moon clears the horizon before letting all the snakes loose; you'll be surprised where your mind will take you. What you will learn about yourself.
"So have fun."
Man, this shyøma stuff is really-- well, hah! --POTENT! I'm ready to fuck a tree! This "natural drug" seems a lot heavier than peyote or ayahuasca, but in a different way. I don' feel stoned or confused at all, just in touch with everything. In love with existence, maybe. Aldous Huxley wrote about SOMA, do you suppose it's the same?
My wife Shirley's feeling the same way. I'm glad I asked her to come here to do this together. So is she, well, so far anyway-- after changing her mind either way a couple of times. Right now, it's disorienting to be so sexually aroused but not letting any sex happen. Adam swears that it'll be magic; we'll see how that pans out. I can tell that this is going to be even more grueling until it becomes officially Full Moon and everybody gets to unload.
But even that generates anxiety: there is some risk to my marriage involved here. I truly believe this will be good for Shirley and me as a couple, but I can't be sure of that. Just like Adam, I'll have to trust my own spirit vision. I truly felt I should do this, but not without Shirley. And especially not instead of her.
It was tricky enough to get Shirley here from LA. And Charlie's girl Anne too, from Indianapolis. We picked Shirley up at the little Barkley Regional Airport, less than 10 miles out from Metropolis where she'd arrived in a little single-prop charter plane after two or three transfers. And Anne from the same airport next day. Us all being here together is not just upon a casual whim.
So I'm actually accepting that I'll be sharing my wife with other men. Okay: Charlie, Adam, Don, sure, I mean this IS supposed to be an orgy, so somebody's going to have to get lucky, why not my life-partner and my best friends? They already like each other. But I had never dreamed that I would tolerate a thug like Benny Joe getting to nail my wife, yet it looks like that's also going to happen.
Way back in the early days when I was hitting on the groupies who visited Chrome Pie backstage, I had no compunctions about sharing any of them with my buddies, that's just the way it was. Nobody owned those chicks, they were just collective prizes for us being über-cool rock musicians. Now I have to accept that I don't own my wife either. But then, nor does she own me.
I've got to admit it: I'm REALLY looking forward to having sex with Melly and Lissandra, they're both so irresistibly desirable and I'm definitely feeling desire. And Sunny, well, everybody wants to do Sunny and me too. But I worry a little for Marcie, our tough butch lesbian bitch, it's hard to see what she's going to get out of this, she's just too unfeminine for most guys’ taste. I may have to visit her just so that she has some fun here. Although, she's going around topless now and her boobs really look good, in fact they actually make her look kind of beautiful. In her own way, which is kind of cool.
Charlie got Anne Evans from Indianapolis to come and join us too. Nice. They got Anne's mother to take little Honey for a week, so that Anne could be here. They didn't think the kid would appreciate an orgy very much. Just like Shirley, Anne wasn't sure how much she would enjoy it either-- but hey, me too, we're all trying something rather daring and risky for the first time. But both ladies agreed to share this incredible event with their men in the hope that it will affect their lives in some positive way.
Shirley was sternly against it when I first breached the subject of us going to an orgy and me sharing her with my buds. She got angry and said I could just go by myself if I really FUCKING had to. She knows about my wild sex life in the early Chrome Pie years. How could she not? That's how we met.
But she's also met Adam and believes in HIS total honesty, if not that of her no-good degenerate rock-musician husband, me. Upon learning that this was to be a magical Nokhon ceremony, she found herself intellectually interested in the concept. So I called her on my cell phone and handed it to Adam, who talked her into coming by promising to have sex with her at the kha-rat. I thought that was a joke, but am reminded that Adam simply can't break a promise.
And now we're both here and looking at each other and feeling so aroused and horny that it hurts, but we can't just fall together and screw until sundown because... well, magic, Adam says. We consider sneaking away for a while. Hiding. Having sex just us two, forget the orgy.
But instead I picked up a guitar and wrote the best song of my life. It was like magic.
Oh wheee ha ha, this is such fun! I've already fucked everybody and now I'm coming around for more! Never have I had so many orgasms. And I want more-- more, more! Ha hee hee ha!
Okay, I'll get a grip...on someone's dick. Hey Don, just stand there a second, yeah, like that. Yeah, it's a weird position but we can make it work. See? (chug chug chug) Great, thanx. So who's next?
Ewan, my favorite mature lover. No, don't get up, I want you just like that. Don't worry, I'll be gentle. Okay, I did gentle, now I need some POWER. You can do it! And you did, nicely. Thank you, sir.
Mike...or do you prefer "Señor Miguel" while you're being macho? Well, I need to meet El Toro again, sí sí, por favor. Okay, andalé andalé, arriba arriba... Adios for now, but I might be back muy pronto.
Okaaay, Adam sweetie, slow now please, I think we're close to bottoming out. slower --ah, there, right there--STOP! Oh my God, this is...oh, I can't take any more...okay, maybe a little more...yes, no, stop. Perfect. Oh my God, how nice, nice nice. Oh my God, it's so THICK & WIDE! Oh Adam sweetie, I was so afraid you'd be too big for me, but no, not at all, you're absolutely... just big enough! So yeah, more, more, MORE!
No, Gene, I don't mind that you're black, in fact I like it. You and your BBC.
It's all right, Freddy, I'm having just as much fun as you are. I don't care that you're fat, it's okay. You're beautiful in this light. Really, just keep it up and we'll both be having even more fun.
Oh, Scott, you know I've always had a thing for you. Yes, this thing, right here, go ahead and use it. Impress your wife.
Oh, Charlie, you know I've always had a thing for you. And these things too, go ahead and play with them. Impress your girl friend.
It's me, Don the sound guy. Melly asked me to write a little addition to the Document sometime, so here it is. Hey, I'll do anything for Melly, especially after she just treated me so nice and nakedly. I guess she liked the chapter I wrote about Montreal, full of hints that I had a secret crush on a certain girl, but never being so crass as to admit that it was her. Like I just did. Oh well, blame the shyøma.
I'd also written that I'd fuck Sunny in a heartbeat, and she too was just as nice to me. So I did. At one point later on it was both of them at once, which I really appreciated. That must have been the high point of the orgy, because after that all the girls sort of blend together.
But before now, I'd spent a couple of days driving around the Shawnee National Forest with the whole road crew. We had a five day break from doing any concerts until Nashville. And in between, there was that orgy waiting for us.
Adam and his two sasquatch girl friends had invited us all to a very special Bigfoot sex-party and we wouldn't miss it for the world, but we had to wait for the full moon, which did seem kind of theatrical. Yeah, I'd read the "document" so I had an idea of what to expect. And like I said: wouldn't miss it for anything.
So while waiting for Thursday, we spent Tuesday and Wednesday cruising around the Shawnee Forest. Bald Knob Wilderness and Clear Springs, Garden of the Gods, for some pretty hiking, sunbathing and camping. It was actually fun. We'd find restaurants in small towns around and about, like Harrisburg, great barbecued ribs, and so on.
I'd been flirting with Sunny all the while, since we were both planning to go to the orgy there didn't seem much point in avoiding each other for "the good of the band" and we were both into it. But also leaving our options open (because I really wanted to bone Melly and Liss too). So we'd kiss and I'd get to play with her boobs, but not much more than that. Pretty chaste, actually. I'm not sure either of us really believed that the orgy would actually happen.
Everybody else was in the same boat; Gene kept deciding that he should not go to the orgy because it would be just too immoral.. or amoral, who knows? Then change his mind-- yearning so much to try out the squatch chick Masnia. And Maki, for the oriental experience. I dunno, maybe because he's black he wasn't quite as interested in the white chicks. But then he'd have another moral crisis and change his mind again, right up until we arrived at the campsite where it was all supposed to happen.
Old Man Ewan was obviously conflicted about sharing an orgy with all of us; thinking he was supposed to be the responsible adult in the room. Osmond, our "security chief", worried about it maybe being illegal, but he had a thing for Lissandra that wouldn't go away. Freddy kept saying he shouldn’t go because he was too fat and would spoil it for everyone else. Marcie kept grumbling about lesbians not being appreciated in a hetero culture. There were constant dissensions as to whether we should do it or not. Morals. Religions. Ethical consequences. And that was just us roadies, the musicians in the other bus were just as conflicted, I could hear.
But mostly we had fun hanging out together. In the Garden of the Gods, besides a bunch of interesting rock formations, we came across a statue of "Sassy of the Sasquatches", which was a fairly accurate rendition of a Nokhon. It was made in 2010, years after our Bigfoot buddy Adam had popped up to prove once and for all that Sasquatches actually do exist. We thought it was a shame that we couldn't take a picture of our three squatches around the statue, like we did of Superman in Metropolis.
Maybe next time; one of the local towns (Harrisburg, Illinois) throws a "Shawnee Sasquatch Festival" every October. Whenever we mentioned to a local that we were musicians in a band with Adam Leroy Forest, they’d try to enlist us to come and play at the festival-- “just bring the Bigfoot,” they’d say.
Our plan was to join up with the S&F bus around 6-7:00 pm on Thursday, to gather for this infamous "kha-rat" Bigfoot orgy. Some of us thought that it sounded a little too primitive and morally questionable, but every guy understood that this was his big chance to be offered guaranteed sex with all those wonderful S&F chicks, as well as our own equally scrumptious Bunny & Sunny, well, there was only one guy who could turn it down.
Lee Springer, our keyboard player had moral and personal qualms about going to an orgy. Especially with Bunny in tow, his very beautiful very young (very airhead) girl friend, in fact they had a fight about it, ending with Lee forbidding her to “attend”. She protested, said she'd go without him and he said he'd break up with her if she did. It got ugly, with Lee reminding her that she was not a musician in the band and if she was not his girl friend she would no longer have any connection with the convoy and no bed to sleep in. She'd be out on her own.
The rest of us were squirming not to get involved or take sides; this wasn't our war. And we knew that Lee's demands would not be considered unreasonable by anyone not already accustomed to the (im) moral lifestyle of a rock band wallowing in groupies. To most of us Chrome Pie guys an orgy would just be a variation of how we often behaved backstage after concerts, we shared girls in the same room all the time. But Lee had never shared Bunny with any of us, nor had he ever been untrue to her, as far as we knew.
It ended up with us setting them both off at the Holiday Inn in Metropolis, Bunny shrieking about how boring it would be, the arrangement being that we would pick them up on our way to Nashville, where we were to do a concert in three days. Last seen, they were still bitching at each other, Bunny really upset and offended that Lee could treat her like his property-- his sex slave -- while he was accusing her of being a slutty whore. Not nice.
There were discussions about whether any of us should go through with the orgy or not, just go pick up Lee and Bunny and drive on to Nashville ourselves and kill three days there. But those S&F girls were on every guy's mind and absolutely none of us wanted to miss out any of them just because of-- what, morality? --no way. We put the convoy in gear and followed the plan.
We were in smart-phone contact with them, so they guided us into their campsite by GPS. That went pretty well, considering that their bus was parked in an unmarked clearing in the woods, well off any public road. They wanted to us to stay hidden because they felt the shyøma could be somewhat dangerous to the uninformed. Looking back, I'd say they were right.
We arrived, two busses and Marcie's big rig, lots of frenetic maneuvering to get parked between trees and bushes. We were busy enough that we didn't really notice the smell at first, also because the two squatch chicks were tucked away inside their bus to contain that smell until the kha-rat could begin.
Melly, Lissandra and Maki greeted us stark naked, which pretty much put us all in the mood, including Marcie, our resident lesbian. Then they handed us some funny little blue flowers to eat. We'd all read about them, so we knew they were to protect us against an overdose of shyøma.
Also because everyone had read the document, we assumed to have a working idea what shyøma would be like, but we really didn't. It wasn't especially strong-smelling at first, because there were only the two Nokhon females and we were outdoors in a forest with aromas of its own. Some guys (like BJ mostly) began to complain, talking negative about the service, feeling cheated, demanding better service.
Magga and Masnia stepped out of their bus. They were also naked, if you can call it that, being all covered with hair, or fur, whatever. Usually they wear those hand-made white cotton coveralls when around people, just to be polite. But both of them trim their body hair pretty close and they have fantastic physiques, so they LOOK naked enough to make any guy happy. They also trim their nipples bare because they want to look "sexy". Which they do, I gotta admit. And double-up sexy smelling like they did.
Masnia is the better English speaker of the two, so she says: "Everyone get naked, please, so that we can all have unimpeded sexual enjoyment with each other."
It was a nice warm summer evening, so we were mostly wearing just t-shirts and shorts anyway. But some folk are shy about getting naked in public. I hesitated, even though I've often gone to nude beaches. But then Magga and Masnia stepped up to us and rubbed our faces with their furry breasts and those pert bare nipples. That's when the spell of the smell actually hit me.
You know what happens next.
This is absolutely mind-boggling! That Moon, where did it come from? And where is our own moon? Is this one of Scott's sci-fi songs? Just visual, instead of audio. No, wait: it's got to be a hallucination! Or a hologram! This can't be happening!
Yeah, hi folks. Anne here. If you can’t recall me, I'm Charlie Madison's new girl friend from Indianapolis. We're at a sasquatch-style orgy in the woods just now and this is really full-immersion psychedelic stuff. We're camping in the Shawnee National Forest in the state of Illinois, but a minute ago we were in the Himalayan Mountains, visiting Shangri-La or a reasonable facsimile thereof, surrounded by crowds of YETI, if you can believe it. I sure can't.
And there's this big beautiful Bigfoot woman, our she-shaman hostess, who is taking us on a psychedelic trip, doing magic. We've ingested a mixture called khos, a Nokhon stimulant, Adam said it was like caffein, but it feels more like Extasy. All this under a Moon about ten times normal size, almost but not quite touching the horizon and filling up half the sky. And up to now we've been about 20 naked people rolling around the grass and having some really intense sex with each and every body. Nobody is shy, we're all greedy for each other, no matter who. All wonderfully friendly. Yeah, it's been fun, but now it seems to be getting serious, some kind of message is coming through...
Now the lady shaman (whose name is Magga) is reciting some kind of ceremony in her own language, which I somehow know is called "Nokhontli" and which I somehow halfway understand, telepathically, I think!
Brain buzz, wow!
Hey, now we seem to be getting messages from another kha-rat somewhere else, or maybe nearby, I can't tell. But those party people are all Sasquatches! They're waving to us...P> Adam says he knows them and that they're up north in Cobalt, Ontario, where he'd set up a school last month to assist squatches who want to come into our modern world, by teaching them English and explaining our culture to them. They seemed to be doing all right.
About Charlie and me: our relationship is nice but does have one major problem: Charlie lives in Los Angeles and I live in Indianapolis. It's a solvable problem, but requires a decision that neither of us is ready to make just yet, since we've only known each other for a bit over a month. I really like Charlie, maybe even love him (it feels like I do and he says the same) but it's just too early to commit ourselves to anything as elusive as romance. Besides, he's on a concert tour around the USA right now. So he's just visiting me when he can. Except this time I'm visiting him. At an orgy, OMG!
Why am I doing this? It's not something I ever WOULD. Not in a million. But since I do, I'm really glad to be here on this incredible adventure! Also I got to do Scott Richter, one of my favorite rock stars, that's got to count for something. His wife Shirley is nice too. I may have slightly done her too, but she didn't seem to mind. Good, maybe we can become best friends, just like Scott and Charlie.
I could see that those girls in the S&F band, Melly and Lissandra, were very popular, every guy wanted to get himself inside them, and did. I could see that Charlie especially enjoyed the squatch girl Masnia, he looked so happy doing her. I almost wished I was a man myself so that I could do her too, she's kind of like a goddess or a fairytale princess.
There were also several encounters that made me feel that I could be just a little bit gay, or at least bi. I did share a pretty passionate kiss with Maki, the cute Japanese girl and that made me feel...also cute. But the one woman who was actually supposed to be a real live lesbian, Marcie, I got a feeling that she'd rather do the drummer they called BJ, even though Charlie tells me he's kind of a sexist scoundrel. But Marcie kept on doing him all night and he didn't seem to object at all. In fact, it looked like they were falling in love. Good for them.
As for Charlie, all of this free love gave me a chance to compare his sexual talent against a whole flock of other men, which was rather enlightening. Oh, they were ALL horny studs under those conditions, with amazing power and stamina and enthusiasm, the shyøma-smell guaranteed that. I enjoyed it, sure, but it isn't what I need in my life. I'm a mom. Luckily, I still liked Charlie best, he feels like a good friend and potential partner and that's what I want.
Although Adam is...is... well, never mind, he's got enough wives, and doesn't live in Indianapolis either. At least I got to experience him. And I might get invited to other kha-rats later on, who knows?
Oh my God, it's actually happening; everyone is copulating! And all synchronized, everybody moving to the same rhythm, undulating, throbbing, pulsating, omigawd, it's beautiful.
Everyone but me, just like always.
Even with the groupies that would sometimes come back-stage to have sex with the rock stars, and maybe even a roadie. Once in a while, maybe even me, if she's too fat for the other guys. But it's been a long while doing without that happening. Except that RIGHT now I feel something’s happening: it's so HARD! Don't think I've ever been this horny before. Nope, haven't.
But there's only one girl here I really want, and as always, I'm too shy to tell her so. It’s stupid I’d pick her, she's way too beautiful or me. And too sexy, she couldn't want to spend any time on a creepy nerd like me. She's so perfect and I'm so fat. My hair is also thinning; I'll be bald in a few years. And I don't know what to say to a girl like that anyway.
Unless I can get away with talking about comic books, or Lord of the Rings, or Game of Thrones-- but then she'll know what a geek I am. Although we were just in Metropolis two days ago, so it would be logical enough to talk about that. But I don't want to talk at all, I just want to... y'know... to have sex with her. And how do you say that politely to a girl so far out of your league?
Although I'm also observing that nobody is actually talking at all: they're all just grunting and wheezing, too busy copulating, boning, doing it, fornicating.
And now there she is, boning that really big guy. Whups, actually, that guy's a Bigfoot: it's Adam and he's really going at it. Whups, I just saw how big his boner is. I can't compete with that. Shit, no one can.
But all the other guys are ignoring him, too busy with their own boners to care about his. But the ladies do care, that's obvious, since they've formed a loose line around him, waiting for their turn. Man, is he lucky. Although I read in the Document that he was pretty much a loser back in high school, just like me. My problem being that my high school days were almost twenty years ago already and I'm still that same loser.
Hey okay, the girl I want is free now, catching her breath after having such an obviously overwhelming orgasm, or perhaps a whole bunch of them. Maybe, maybe, if I can just get my nerve up...
Another girl's face pops up close before my eyes. Incredibly beautiful, impossibly cute face, pixie haircut, dangerously shining teeth, sparkling green eyes looking right into mine. I'm stunned-- or maybe paralyzed, like a rabbit facing a tiger. There is fur on her otherwise nude boobs, but her nipples are trimmed bare, they’re really nice, I can feel the strength in her hands, it’s somewhat frightening, a lot stronger than mine. She must either be a wild animal, or a Goddess.
But no, it's only the younger squatch chick, Masnia. Speaking to me. "Hi Freddy, let's yøramma."
I fold up, try to retreat. This is way too much. Too close. This wasn't the girl I was after. I look over at that girl and see that Don Tennison, our god dam sound guy, is already mounting her and she is welcoming him with her golden smile and her legs spread. I consider feeling sad about that...
...but Masnia takes my thingy in her hand and gives it a good solid squeeze. My thingy is also surprisingly good and solid, just as strong as her hand. So for the first time in my life I boink a Bigfoot. And she comes too, so I must have done it right.
Then big mama Magga pulls me in and I'm still going strong. She comes too. They all do, one girl after another, eventually including my favorite, although now I can't quite remember which one she was.
I was thinking how fucked up it was that after all that shyøma afro-dizzy-ak had us guys feeling so ultra-mega-ready to jump any wet hole that quivered in our near vicinity. we then had to wait soooo long for the fullest of Full Moons before we were allowed to plow into them bitches.
Like I said, "was thinking" because that's the way I thought about things. And sex. And women. Pretty negative, I know.
I've been playing drums with Chrome Pie for a lotta years now, and most of the guys in the band I kinda like, and our road crew’s okay too. They can take a lot of kidding around without getting all insulted and pissed off. But there's just one guy in that crowd I don't like very much at all. At all. And that one is Me. Myself.
That guy gets into fights, mistreats women, betrays friends he doesn't deserve. An asshole. A genuine all-around asshole. You know that Kris Kristofferson song "The Silver Tounged Devil and I"? Clever song, listen to it sometime. That was/is me. A guy who gets away with a lot of shit. A fucking lot of shit, let me tell you. Not always, tho, once he went to prison for assault and battery, a couple months. But did he learn his lesson?
Why yes, indeed he did: Don't Get Caught!
Anyway, in this band are also some very juicy young women, somehow almost all of them (except for Marcie the dyke) unreasonably beautiful babes I'd give my right ball to get into bed with. But I'd never be satisfied with just one of them, I know that. I want them ALL. I could never choose between Melly or Lissandra, had to have the set, couldn't settle for less. But none of them liked my attitude towards women ultra much, so I get nothing. I tell myself it don't fucking matter, don't wanna keep 'em anyway, just borrow them for a quickie so that I can check them off my to-do list, no big deal.
Anyway, so now I've come to this fucking "kha-rat", which is a shamanistic Bigfoot fuck-fest, along with all my fellow band members, including those dames, and we've all been blasted by shyøma, the magical hormone musk squatch bitches stink of every Full Moon . It's an orgy, folks. so I finally get to fuck all them babes. No one's gonna stop me, not even big strong Adam, because he and his big bitch Magga are promoting this hoedown.
Sundown came and the fucking could begin. I hopped to it, but wanted that beautiful bitch Melly first and it took a little waiting to get to her, seems she's the most popular with all the guys. But she's efficient, give her that, took on man after man, bam bam bam. Then it was finally my turn. I almost couldn't believe it was actually going to happen, at last, at last, I was going to dominate this bitch. So I slipped it to her...
...but suddenly I wasn't screwing some blonde bitch, I was surrendering to the divine female. I didn't pump her full of cum; she drained me of my essence. And so did the next girl, Lissandra, for whom I had so often lusted to the point of agony, beating off to any image I could find of her magnificent ass. Then Sunny, who was supposed to be Off Limits to all us greedy studs for the sake of the band, well, she was now Unlimited. Maki, that perfect little slant-eyed fuck doll, used me relentlessly. I would've had Bunny too, Lee's jealously guarded private possession, but that selfish rat has kept her away from the orgy and guys like me. There are no bitches here, except myself.
But the worst/best was yet to cum: Marcie.
Marcie and I have always had this frenemy thing going on. I'd rag her for being a lesbian ho' and she branded me as the band's Worst Male Chauvinist Pig. Which, admitted, I was honored to be. So I'd insult her for not being as pretty as all these other outrageously beautiful women in our band, as if there was something she could do about it. But she never seemed to be hurt, just gave me lotsa shit back and it was kinda all in fun. Although not really. The only compliment I ever paid her was "at least you've got great boobs," which she really did. She'd go around topless sometimes and I always got off on that even tho she's a dyke.
I was surprised to see her at the kha-rat: she's a lebbie and shyøma is strictly hetero, so if she wanted to avoid stiff dicks poking into her slit she'd be best off staying away. But there she was, and so was I, so we plugged in together, which is what we're all required to do at a shyøma-fest. It was sorta automatic. But I was absolutely blown away by how good she was at hetero sex, Marcie has an amazingly talented twat! And then my life-- both our lives --changed right then and there. We fell in love.
Surprised me and her too. Totally in love, helplessly devoted. Once I got my hands on those perfect, round, full, firm breasts I just couldn’t let go. Nor could I unplug, I was stuck in her. And suddenly she got beautiful; just as hot as Melly or Lissandra or Masnia or Sunny & Bunny. But most staggering of all-- now suddenly Marcie was MY woman.
I didn't even screw anyone else after connecting with her, even tho they were completely willing, just her and me all night and next day. This is going to take some getting used to.
Actually, no it isn't. I'm already used to it.
Holas, amigos. It's me your favorite latino, ex-flamenco ex-prodigy Miguel de Santo himself. I've just survived another pinche kha-rat, and am now in the process of surviving it. It should end today, gracias a Dios!
But I think I've still got a few fucks remaining in my polla and I've got both Mel and Liss in my sights, for the Nth time in the last two days. Or maybe it's smarter to just waylay them in our own bus later on and focus on the girls I won't have such easy access to when this kha-rat is all over. Like Sunny. Pero que lastima that Bunny's not here.
Although the way these things usually work out, I'll probably be allowed semi-permanent access to every woman here as often as is handy, it's a real ice-breaker to spend a 3-day orgy with your friends and colleagues. Pero naturalmente none of us machos hombres can function at this level of horniness without that magical shyøma to inspire us, so it could be embarrassing if that's what those ladies are hoping for.
Sí, pues, I can always get it up for Mel and Lis. And Magga and Masnia. And Maki, if it's okay with Pokey. Whew!
This was a special experience: a gringo kha-rat instead of with Nokhons. Of course I've been to some wild parties with Chrome Pie, in the old days, not so much anymore. Now I'm too much in love to care anything about groupies.
It looks like everyone enjoyed it, men and women both, so I assume we're all still friends. Although it probably will take a few days for some of them to process just what happened. It's never just animal sex, there's a psychological clout to this stuff. There's no denying that it can be risky for relationships, Bunny and Lee are evidence of that.
It's obvious that Lee can't take it that Bunny wants to be free to fuck everybody she likes. Yeah well, we all want that, me too. And probably Lee too, if he would just admit it to himself.
But when the shyøma-spell is over, I'm still in love with the same... four... or five....women. Or maybe six ...
Mierda, am I in love with Sunny too now? Okay, that's got to seem un poco bizarro to anyone else. Sí, por yo tambien.
And what's happening with Benny Joe? That sexist misógino seems to be enamorado with Marcie the lesbian? I can't see that lasting very long. But then again, nor did I see it coming.
Ni tampoco Sunny.
Damn, this is weird! I've just spent the most erotic night of my life with a goddamn MAN after being a dedicated lesbian for over ten years. In fact, I've just fucked about a dozen guys and really liked it, and it feels like there's more cumming. Masnia says it'll take at least another day for her shyøma to taper off, so we're not done yet.
But I'm not sure how much I wanna have brainless sex with other men since I've finally found my soul mate. Or have I? Will love wear off too when the shyøma snuffs out? It's too early to tell. And it's also hard to believe that I fell for a male instead of a fellow lesbian. Am I suddenly NOT GAY anymore?
And what's weirdest of all is that-- of all men --it's that fucking asshole Benny Joe who I've gone and fallen in love with! That bastard! How can it be? How could he do this to me? Why? Never mind, I understand why: he's out for revenge!
Ah but there he is: sleepily, so gently, so nicely fucking me from behind (not anal) while I write this. I twist around to see how innocent he looks-- and wow beautiful --to me anyway. Which doesn't make any sense; he's always been a major pain in the ass. But now I love what he's doing to my ass. Pretty soon I'll flip him over and get us back into the frontal position again.
Best sex I've ever had? So far.
But maybe I'd better practice honing my resistance to all this romantic foolishness. This could easily go either way. BJ has always been a classic Male Chauvinist Pig, why would he change just for me? He's always preferred pretty girls like Melly and Lissandra. But I find myself believing that he'll change-- that he HAS changed.
This whole kha-rat thing has been pretty mysterious. Adam promised magic and they say he can't break his promises because he's an "Orator" among his own Bigfoot folk. Sure enough, seems like some inexplicable forces are at work.
For instance, I wasn't going to come to the orgy at all, me being a lesbian who truly did NOT wish to get into a situation where I'm expected to snuggle up with a whole bunch of --gag!-- men. But somehow I ended up coming along anyway. I'd been intending to stay at a motel in Metropolis while this kha-rat went on, but that town just seemed SO small and boring. After we'd already seen that silly Superman Museum there wasn't much more to go after. I think I was mainly afraid of feeling lonely and all my friends were gonna be here.
I thought I could just ignore the shyøma, although Adam and Melly and Mike all insisted that it wasn't possible. Actually I think I just needed to get laid, which I hadn't for a while. So male or female, who cares? Some human contact. An adventure. I certainly wasn't planning to win fucking BJ's fucking heart. No fucking way.
Everybody was right about not being able to resist the shyøma. I tried, for about ten minutes, then decided (?) to relax and go with the flow, even if it was decidedly hetero. That first day, when we weren't allowed to have sex no matter how erotically turned on we got, was perfect for me. I had time to consider what I wanted to have happen to my body, and found out: something. Anything, any change of some sort. I discovered that I wanted to be happy. Like Adam and his 4-5 (or 10?) wives, or Mike (also with Adam's wives), or Pokey and Maki, Scott and Shirley, Charlie and Anne-- none of them sure of how it’s all going to work out but so fucking glad to be together here and now.
The sex was terrific, penises can actually be wonderful if attached to someone nice. Adam's was, I didn't even worry about the size, it slid in perfectly and fit there just fine, exactly like all his girl friends assured me it would. But then, every other guy felt good too, I came and came and so did they. This was hetero super-sex and I'm glad to have experienced it at least once. Restored my faith in decadence. Then, casually, eventually, Benny Joe and I just sort of fell together, like politely asking someone for a dance, expecting nothing other than one more shyøma fuck.
Man, what a surprise-- for both of us --to fall in love like that. Especially with HIM, that son of a bitch. We'd always teased each other, but I'm pretty sure we never really LIKED each other. The only halfway complimentary thing he ever said about me was: "at least you've got great boobs." Which I do, of course, so it didn't really count for much.
I've always been proud of my breasts, considering them the only actually pretty part of me; they're just the right bigness, classically-shaped, pert-rippled, nice and firm. I got great boobs, it's true. But otherwise I'm a butch bitch: a tough-talking, bad-acting truck-driving mama; short-clipped hair, men's clothes, foul language and all that lebbo stuff. I know it puts guys off, so I've always got an excuse for them not being attracted to me: Because I'm just too butch, not because I'm... ugly.
But everyone is divinely beautiful at a kha-rat, even me. Ha, even BJ.
Speaking for him I'll say we were both absolutely astounded to discover each other. I called him "soul mate", didn't I? Weird!
When he wakes up I'll... oh, here he is now. Smiling. No, grinning stupidly, that fucking shit-ass. Oops, gotta go, oh my! he obviously really wants to...
Melly asked me to write a little something about my experience at this "kha-rat". Me being Shirley Richter, wife of Scott, who invited me along on this Bigfoot orgy and I must admit that it really was and is an EXPERIENCE!
Scott's been away on this Chrome Squatch Concert Tour USA for a couple of months now, but that's the life of a professional musician. He does make good money, so I guess it's worth it. I certainly support his career and I'm even a fan, of course.
I've always loved his music, even before we met and got married and became parents. He also stays at home for months at a time doing studio work in LA, and then he's a good husband and father, so I can't complain. He came home for a week's break in May, so it hasn't been so long since we'd been together.
But truth be told, I got really angry when Scott asked me to come to an orgy with him. It's kind of a secret, but he's been unfaithful to me a couple of times --that I know of. I've always forgiven him because...well, because he's Scott Richter, that musical genius who writes those fabulous science-fiction songs. He's also the father of our two kids, Billy and Sandi, so leaving him in a petty fit of jealousy just isn't going to happen. Not to our kids. I can, however, be pretty mean to him for a while.
But I'm not even jealous; really, he's always chosen me over any flirtation that comes along. Actually, I understand: lovely young girls throw themselves at his feet, beg him to autograph their tits, offer him their bodies. I don't know how I would deal with that kind of temptation, it's a miracle he doesn't take advantage of them more often. But he's always been scrupulously honest, admitting whatever happened. He says he loves me and I believe him.
I knew all about his scandalously wild rock star days, the groupies and all that, even before I'd met him; like Elton John sings, I read it in a magazine. So I wasn't exactly shocked when he told me he wanted us to go to a Bigfoot orgy together with the whole band and three Sasquatches, He's on tour with Adam Leroy Forest himself and I've been reading what they call "the Document." But I was very unwilling to subject myself to an actual orgy in the flesh, so to speak.
But at the same time, I'd met Adam and trusted him instinctively. I knew that he was always honest-- he's famous for it. So he convinced me that Scott needed me to be here because there was magic to be learned, but he just couldn't do it without having me in on it, because he'd promised never to be unfaithful to me again. Well, I bought that, because it was Adam Leroy Forest telling me so.
And now-- well, it's all true. Magic happened. And an extreme sexual awakening. It was overwhelming and joyful, I had a real good time. Got to know everybody real close-up, even telepathically, I think. And the Moon--OMG, the Moon.
And now that it's almost over, I love my wonderful husband even more. Which is nice, considering what a disaster this could have been.
translated from Nokhontli--
MASNIA: I think we are done. My shyøma is not flowing more.
MAGGA: Oh, but we did a good job, I think.
MASNIA: Yes, everyone seemed happy. It was a success.
MAGGA: I was worried that just the two of us could not exude enough shyøma to give everyone an optimal horniness, but it seemed to be okay,
MASNIA: Yes. Everyone had lots of yøramma. Me too.
MAGGA: So which male was best for you?
MASNIA: Oh Dadamet, by far. He has the biggest dakh. And we love each other, which always makes it more special.
MAGGA: Yes, Dadamet for me too. Although I did especially enjoy the mature male they call Old Man Evan. He was in no hurry and was very attentive to my marat.
MASNIA: I always enjoy yøramma with Pokey and Miguel, but of the new males, I gave the most joy to the fat little one, Freddy. He was truly grateful for my attentions. I don't think he gets much yøramma. He was very shy, I don't know why.
MAGGA: Ra, they can be quite inscrutable, those NokhSoli
the Adam out of Eden series